Your bags are packed. Tuition is paid. You’ve listened to Eve 6’s “Here’s to the Night” way more than you’d ever admit. Goodbye high school, hello Binghamton! Welcome to the next four (or more) years of your life! Here’s your first cheat sheet at college, ironically about surviving college. Use it wisely.

1. Never underestimate the power of arts and crafts.

You never know when colored pencils will come in handy. College work gets difficult. You’ll need some time to take a break, get back to your childhood roots and just color. Just don’t use that white pencil too much in your drawings. Something tells me you’ll find another more suitable use for that one.

2. Department stores (Wal-Mart, Target) = Salvation.

Those stories you hear about the broke college kid living in the library aren’t fiction. It is perfectly plausible to spend all of your money on take out, parties … and textbooks. Therefore discount places like Wal-Mart, Target and Sam’s Club will be a Godsend. I know there are many out there who don’t believe in the Wal-Mart corporation’s policies, but many change their tune when they see their bank account and can’t stomach any more Sodexho food. Word to the wise: Never go to these stores hungry. However, if/when you ever do get a little extra spending money, take the bus to Wegmans. You won’t be disappointed.

3. When it comes to sex, you shouldn’t care about being green. Always choose plastic.

Anyone who’s seen any teen comedy movie knows about the debauchery that could allegedly go on in dorm rooms. Binghamton may be a mildly large school, however, those funny-named diseases can spread like the plague. So please, unless you want to make an embarrassing or emergency trip to Health Services, please, for the love of clean genitals, wrap it up. Binghamton is great in that condoms are available for free in the RA office of every building.

4. Screw diamonds, cabbies are your best friend.

Binghamton cab experiences are always memorable ones. OK, sometimes you can’t remember them, but if you do they tend to be great stories. There will be a time when you urgently need a cab, whether it’s bitterly cold outside Wal-Mart, raining at the mall, or you’re Downtown and desperately need to get back to campus for any of the multitude of reasons you might need to flee. (There are more reasons than you could imagine). In this time of need, you’ll appreciate becoming friends with cab drivers when they pick you up before picking up someone else. Be wary, however, of Narcoleptic Joe’s cab, for obvious reasons.

5. Time to start using that right side of your brain.

Sure you’ll be studying and learning a lot in school, but those of you who are used to having a lot of things to do may be a little disappointed in the lack of attractions Binghamton has to offer. Watching DVDs and playing video games could get old after a while, but if you just get a little creative, you’ll see that there are other things to do in Binghamton. Binghamton Mets games are a great way to spend the eight nice days we have. Ross Park Zoo is a nice day trip, but if you prefer indoor activities, Binghamton has some great art galleries as well.

During the next couple of years you spend in class at Binghamton, you’ll learn valuable vocational skills for whatever career you choose to pursue in the future. However, the life lessons you learn outside of class will stay with you forever … provided you remember them.