There has always been an ebb and flow I have felt within the windowless confines of UUBW03. Even as a freshman who stood in the far corner of the office for a GIM, I noticed, whether subconsciously or not, that there was something about this newspaper-riddled room that carried such an undercurrent of determination and care.

I suppose that is why I have struggled to write this. Every time I put pen to paper, it is more of a quiet love letter than something as benign as an article. How do I even begin to express my thoughts on what has been the better part of my identity for the past four years?

As much as I can relive Pipe Dream through photos and inked words, it will never quite compare to the feeling that time stops in that office, and, for a few hours every week, a group of individuals continue to show up and come together to create something special.

The finality of it all is unnervingly scary and I feel compelled to make each word perfect, just as I do with any form of writing, and yet, this somehow feels heavier than anything I’ve ever written.

As much as I try, I cannot put the imaginary pin into the corkboard of my life when determining the moment I realized this is where I wanted to be. Maybe it was when I became an Arts & Culture intern. Maybe it was when I wrote my first event coverage. Maybe it was at the GIM. In the end, it all blurs together in a series of hazy, but beautiful and chaotic memories.

Even now, it’s hard for me to admit, but my progression at Pipe Dream will always serve as a reminder of my own capabilities. It’s easy to constantly doubt myself, and that feeling will never completely subside, but this newspaper taught me to lean into my own judgments and gave me the space to be a leader.

I like to think that I was drawn to Pipe Dream because I wanted to contribute to an entity bigger than myself, and while that is partly true, another selfish part of me knows it’s because I wanted to find a semblance of purpose in college.

In some ways, I did.

This not-so-little newspaper snuck up on me and quickly became a constant in my life. Suddenly, my weeks involved running around covering banquets, performances and local community events. I was busy and as much as I complained, deep down, I loved it.

Don’t get me wrong — there were many, many instances in which I was anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated. The first two weeks of senior year were the worst of it. My impostor syndrome was at an all-time high, and I constantly questioned myself and my decisions. It took time, but eventually, I found my footing and things became easier. I cannot say it was perfect from then on — far from it — but the responsibilities felt less daunting.

Pipe Dream was a lot, but, if I had to confess, I would do it all over again.

I have gotten to experience a little bit of everything, all while having the privilege to write about it. Journalism was not something I gave much thought to until I joined this small and tucked away corner of the University Union.

Over the years, the feeling of covering events stayed the same — a mix of anticipation and nervousness. Watching it unfold around me and taking in all the details became second nature.

However, going back to my room and piecing it all together to create a memorable and honest story was what I enjoyed the most. I was good at it, and it felt rewarding knowing what I wrote could have a tangible impact.

Despite the many late-night writing sessions curled up in my bed, it was worth it. Seeing my work published online and in print only inspired me to keep writing, because a part of me always knew as I would be crafting and editing article after article, that there would be an endpoint.

Here it is.

My own words innocently stare back at me, as if to solidify this realization.

I knew Pipe Dream was not a path I would traverse forever, but as I allowed myself to get deeper into this world of journalism and spend more and more time at the Arts Desk, it became harder for me to accept. This newspaper has carved a place in my heart that I didn’t know was possible. I think that’s why, as I carve out these last words of my own, it’s so hard to say goodbye.

Pipe Dream will feel like a phantom limb until one day, the memories turn soft and still. I suppose there’s something bittersweet about that.

To Christina, Jaiden and Katelyn, I know you three will continue to lead Arts & Culture beautifully — I’m lucky enough to have already gotten to see a glimpse of it. I’m so proud of you all, and the dedication you each put into this section is a true reflection of your commitment and care to ensuring it continues to thrive. Christina, I have no doubt you will be a wonderful editor. Keep going on as many side quests as your heart desires. After all, one of them led you here. Jaiden, your energy is absolutely electric, and you made every production night so memorable — I know you will carry that presence tenfold next year. Let me know if you ever retire that laptop, OK? Katelyn, there is no one else I’d rather trudge up to Hillside with than you. Your work ethic continues to amaze me, and you never fail to make me laugh even in the worst of situations. I will always be grateful for the presence you carry both in and out of the office.

To Emily, can you believe we made it? You have made this last year so unbelievably memorable, and I couldn’t have gotten through it without you. I think what they say is true — sometimes, the things you’re searching for are right in front of you all along. From covering CSA’s Carnival together — one of our crown jewel articles, to constantly hanging out at the TC, late nights at your place, crashing out over “9-1-1” and influencing each other to buy snacks at the bookstore, you’ve quickly become one of my closest friends. As much time as we spent at that Arts desk — both separate and together over the past three years — I’m glad we got to finish this out together. I hope you know that I will come bother you endlessly in the city.

To Mira, I love you 4ever. There will never be enough words to describe how much you mean to me. Thank you for always listening to anything Pipe Dream related, even if half the time, you have no clue what I’m talking about.

To my family, thank you for reading *almost* all my articles. Your collective excitement every time I bring home a new stack of newspapers means more to me than you know.

Revati Gelda, a senior majoring in English, is Pipe Dream’s arts & culture editor. She was assistant arts & culture editor from 2023-24.