A few nights after arriving in Binghamton for the first time, I remember sitting at the Mountainview Amphitheater, watching a girl I just met perform “Scott Street” on her acoustic guitar. As I’ve struggled for months to write this column, my mind has drifted back to that evening; to the pit in my stomach whenever I’d think about the future, to my awe watching her command the crowd, and to the nagging fear that I would never truly find my place here.

When I arrived in Binghamton four years ago, I had no ambition for leadership. I instead found comfort in a few close friends, and I had planned to keep my head down, do well in my classes and graduate. It would be a quiet existence, sure, but I had never wanted more, and I viewed those who strove for awards and recognition as superficial.

After all, in high school, that plan had worked perfectly. I wasn’t involved in any clubs, didn’t look for honors and had middling grades. But despite that, I found soul-healing community in a group of friends that included a brown-haired girl I hated at first who later became my best friend. In what is the classic extrovert-introvert dynamic, she forced me out of my shell and demanded that I become the best version of myself.

When I moved to upstate New York for college (she went down to North Carolina), I looked — desperately searched — for her in everyone I met. I didn’t need to join any organizations to find community; I could find it in others! But once again, she demanded I make something of myself, telling me I couldn’t stay in my bubble forever.

So I joined Pipe Dream on a whim, partially because of her advice, and it was life-changing. I met a team of dedicated and passionate writers, editors, photographers and illustrators who put their personal needs aside for those of the paper. And I’m forever grateful to them for their example.

At a school with no journalism or communications program, Pipe Dream enjoys no institutional support and is consequently held together by its staff’s sheer force of will. And when I joined leadership as news editor in my junior year, I realized, finally, that finding community and dedicating myself to something larger are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are intertwined.

Now, like most of the news stories I’ve written, this story doesn’t have a fully happy ending. Around two years ago, that friend, Talia, whom I most credit for making me the person I am today, was told she had brain cancer. And life stopped. The subject of our phone calls soon shifted from weekend plans and when we’d see each other next to the medication she was taking and her healing journey.

And after I had been chosen to lead this paper at the tail end of my junior year, I received a text from her phone number after a period of silence. She had died, a friend of her mother wrote, and she loved me.

I’ve grappled hard in recent weeks with what graduating really means. And writing this column, walking across the stage and planning the future, they all mean saying a final goodbye to the fresh-eyed, naive person I used to be. And a goodbye to the last stage of my life that Talia was alive to see.

Still, this year leading the organization that’s provided purpose and stability to my life has been rewarding beyond measure, and no number of words, columns or printed pages could adequately allow me to express my love for Pipe Dream and its history. The community I’ve found here has inspired me, like Talia did, to be the best version of myself.

In the last two years, our team has covered unthinkable tragedies, political developments and the largest wave of student demonstrations in a generation with precision, care and compassion. It’s a thankless endeavor that, despite the extremists’ endless and unjustified vitriol, has only furthered my love and commitment to local news.

As a freshman, I held college at arm’s length, unsure if I would ever find my place here. Now, four years later, I’m proud to say I found it in a basement office in the University Union filled with the most inspiring people I’ve ever met, who remind me every day of Talia’s love for me and her demand that I become the person I was meant to be. The staff here, they taught me how to love something, and how to be a leader.

Now, as I reflect on my year as editor-in-chief, my only hope is that I gave enough back to the paper that gave so much to me.

Those who met me at the beginning will remember an emotional, headstrong, opinionated and relentless 18-year-old who thought he knew what he wanted from the world and how to get it. And while I’m still all those things, I’m forever indebted to the loving people I’ve met here who have shaped me into someone better.

Grace and Emma: I couldn’t be more excited about the new heights to which you’ll take the paper. Support each other and know that at the end of next year, you’ll be so incredibly proud of yourselves.

Lia: I would not have survived the last two years without your endless empathy, steadfast partnership and willingness to take a phone call at all hours of the night. Knowing that there’s another who loves Pipe Dream as much as I do makes it all worth it.

Bella and Kate: The two of you are my role models, and I wish I had met you sooner. Becoming an adult is scary, but seeing you both grow with such grace and generosity has been reassuring.

Hamza: Your commitment to this organization was so inspiring to witness as a sophomore. I hope I made you proud.

Caspar: Thank you for teaching me about credit cards, car maintenance and photography. Our nights at The Belmar are some of my fondest memories, and the impact you’ve left on me runs deeper than you know. You’ll do amazing things, and I can’t wait to see your name on a scientific prize.

Tresa, Khudija and Hannah: Ending these four years with you all by my side just feels right.

Ella and Joseph: I admire you both for taking on the News Desk, my second home here. The responsibility of being news editor is weighty, and the position demands only the best.

Paulette and Alex: My platonic soulmates, it’s been a hard few years. But I always say, “You can’t make old friends,” and I’m grateful beyond words for you both.

Tommy: A surprise that changed my life. I’m constantly in awe of your patience and kind soul.

Mom, Dad and Bryan: Thank you for your constant support and for building the foundation on which I could grow.

Talia: I miss you more than words, or tears, could ever express, and as long as I am alive, you will be missed and remembered. You always pushed me to be the best version of myself, and all of this, it was all for you.

And to Pipe Dream’s future editors, wherever and whoever you may be: We need you. You don’t need to come to college wanting to lead, or even wanting to be a journalist at all. Most of us don’t. But this community needs, and deserves, the best in you.

Brandon Ng, a senior double-majoring in history and economics, is Pipe Dream’s editor-in-chief. He was news editor from 2023-24.