I have always been extremely sure of myself. I always knew exactly who I was and what I wanted out of life.

But when I came to Binghamton University, I realized I had less confidence than I originally thought. As a freshman, I was in a brand new place, surrounded by people I did not know and who did not know me. I found myself asking questions like, “What if they don’t like me?” and “If I do this, will they not want to be my friend?” Every move I made and word I said was second-guessed and overthought.

When I visited UFEST my first weekend here, I initially didn’t stop at the Pipe Dream table. The newspaper-cluttered display caught my attention immediately, but my friend didn’t bat an eye at the table, so I kept walking in fear that she would think I was weird for being interested in the school paper. But a few minutes later, something in my gut made me turn around and stop to talk to Pipe Dream’s E-Board. I wrote my name on the sign-up sheet, attended the first general interest meeting and joined the Copy Desk just a week later.

My time in college has since been measured by productions. Countless Sundays and Wednesdays have been spent in the windowless basement office, which, while I didn’t know it at the time, would come to feel like home. When I was asked to become assistant copy desk chief at the end of my freshman year, I felt the happiest I had ever been since coming to BU. I was finally getting back to the level of reassurance that I had always held in my hometown. I was starting to understand who I was in college.

Moving up in this organization, my junior year as copy desk chief and then managing editor this year, has been an experience that I would do over and over again. Having the opportunity to lead this paper has given me memories that, while not always easy, I will always be proud of. Trusting my gut that the one day at UFEST four years ago was the best decision I ever made.

There are so many people who have brought me to this place in my life and kept me sane during my time in Pipe Dream, and I cannot thank them enough.

To Grace, I genuinely could not have done this without you, and I do not know how I will live without spending 15-plus hours a week with you. We are bonded for life, and I cannot wait to see the amazing things you do in your future. Our connection is one I did not expect and one I hope we keep forever. I hope you know that you have made a significant impact on Pipe Dream, and on me.

To Lia and Brandon, thank you for trusting Grace and me with Pipe Dream, and for seeing something in me from that first GIM. The dedication that you each have to this paper has inspired me more than you know. I hope we made you proud.

To the Copy Desk, you were my first home in Pipe Dream and have taught me so much about myself. To Allison, Bella, Kate, Stephanie, Max and everyone else — you have truly shaped me into who I am today. Copy will always be my favorite section.

To Vera and Christina, I am so proud of you both for stepping into these roles. It will not be easy, but it will be worth every second you spend on it and every emotion it makes you feel. I know you will do amazing things with this paper, and don’t forget to soak in every minute of it.

To the rest of the Pipe Dream staff, you will each hold a special place in my heart forever. I am in awe of all the incredible things each of you does each production. Special shout-out to my opinion girls, Antonia and Jordan. Despite everything that happened this year, I am so glad we got to experience it all together.

To Jonathan, thank you for staying up with me through long nights and always being understanding when I had to take a call or pull out my laptop to edit an article at the last minute. I truly could not have done this without you. I am so thankful that we were in the same orientation group all those years ago. You are the best thing college gave me.

To Zoe, Jenna, Lauren and Ally. How did I live for 18 years without you? Thank you for giving me the best college experience I could have asked for and for giving me a home away from home. Binghamton would not be the same without you, and I definitely will never listen to “Landslide” again without thinking of you. I wish we could live together forever.

To Annalyse, Bryan and Rene, my honorary roommates. You have given me some of my favorite memories that I will carry with me forever. Thank you for all the laughs, breakfast trips and moments I will never forget.

To Mom, Dad, Bryanna and Lukie, thank you for always being my biggest cheerleaders and guiding lights. I could not have stepped into this role without your constant reassurance and support. I am so grateful for everything you have given me. Everything I do is for you.

To the American Cancer Society on Campus, you are the best organization ever and have meant everything to me these past four years. I will never forget the community you gave me and the impact you have had on this campus and on my life. I loved serving as your president.

And finally, thank you to Pipe Dream. It has not been easy, but you have given me more than I will ever be able to describe. All the late nights, emergencies and tears were more than worth it. Thank you for helping me find my place in Binghamton. Thank you for helping me understand who I am.

Emma Alicea, a senior double-majoring in English and human development, is Pipe Dream’s managing editor. She was copy desk chief from 2024-25 and assistant copy desk chief from 2023-24.