I was planning to write my second to last column at Pipe Dream about the hardships of wanting to be both a successful woman and a mother.

Then I realized that I had something far more important to discuss. I call this an important issue because I believe it is something that many of us in The Land Of the Free can relate to.


Before I begin, I would like to say that I am ashamed that this is something I even have to discuss. America is the promised land, is it not? Our citizens are progressive, and intelligent, and gentle, right?

In light of the horrible tragedy in Boston, the Twitterverse exploded with some of our nation’s most opinionated blabbermouths. I apologize in advance, because some of the following language is very offensive. Here’s a little taste of the literary gems that popped up on Twitter.

“Is Muslims bombed Boston. We as a planet need to wipe them the f—- off this world. Every one of them.”

“Let’s go Dearborn and kill some of those towelheads!”

“I seriously wanna fight in this war. I swear to god I’ll murder the Korean moms, kids, dads, elders, everyone.”

The first one, oh, the first one. I would like to comment on your impeccable use of grammar and spelling. If I am correct, you misspelled “If” and also mixed up the uses of a comma and period. Your parents must be very proud.

As of recently, it has been recorded that 23 percent of the world’s population is Muslim. How would you suggest finding a cloth big enough to “wipe” off almost a quarter of the world’s population? In addition, if the bombers happen to be male, are you suggesting that we rid the world of all males? What if they have blue eyes? Oh no, Anderson Cooper! Also, what is your suggestion if the bomber is a white American?

No. 2, are you suggesting that a bunch of post-shower teenage girls bombed the Boston Marathon? Listen, I’ve been there. You get out of the shower, wrap your head in a towel, your hormones are raging and you’re irritated that the Backstreet Boys concert is sold out. But never, as a teenage girl, was I tempted to do something that drastic and horrific!

Oh wait; I see what you did there. That was a jab at Muslims! LOL! But no, what you actually did there was target a completely different religious group. The men you may see wearing turbans are in fact Sikh, not Muslim. Sikhism is a cousin to Hinduism and actually promotes peace. Don’t worry though, this is a common mistake. In fact, last summer, a genius much like yourself opened fire and killed 6 people at a Sikh temple to avenge America. Oops!

Oh No. 3, what a sweet soul you have. You would actually go into North Korea and kill children and old people? For us? Awww, you shouldn’t have. Before you slap on your armor and ravage North Korea, let me remind you that the people in North Korea are oppressed by North Korean policies more than we are. In fact, a child in North Korea would have far LESS access to information about creating a bomb than an American child.

Nevertheless, when was fact checking ever a prerequisite to running your mouth on a public forum?

Here’s what I am saying: we, as Americans, have every right to protect ourselves against those who attack us. But under no circumstances do we have the right to HATE every person that shares a common trait or ancestor with someone who MIGHT HAVE committed a crime. We know better.

Stay strong and stay smart, America.