Sean Reichbach

It takes a lot of effort for me to enter flavortown. One of the drinks that can help me along my journey is Coke. For the first two years of my existence at Binghamton University, I would frequent the vending machines in Lecture Hall or under Glenn G. Bartle Library, seeking to obtain a cold bottle of caffeine. To be completely honest with you, I don’t think I could have made it through many of my early college days without at least a few bottles of Coke. I am aware of how awful soda can be for both your teeth and the rest of your body, but that health shit doesn’t really matter to me. But there’s a problem that began brewing at the start of the fall semester — our lovely campus doesn’t use Coca-Cola products anymore.

This is the Public Ivy. We hold ourselves to extremely high standards here at this institution. But when I walked into the University Union for the first time entering my senior year here at BU, I was genuinely shell-shocked to find that the familiar vending machines containing Sprite and Fanta now lacked any form of ingenuity. I hate Pepsi products. You hate Pepsi products. We all, at least deep down, hate Pepsi products — which makes it entirely awful that BU would switch its product plan without the consent of all the Coke lovers on campus.

I know that this unfortunate situation has been going on for at least the past six months, but my emotions have gotten the best of me in writing this column up to today. I finally have the courage to announce my hatred for Pepsi to the world, and the choice by our campus to have Pepsi products was what pushed me over the line. I have zero tolerance for any Pepsi product, and every time I have to walk by the vending machine on my way to class in the morning I feel deeply unwell. It is a poisonous example of capitalism on display for the entire student body to see.

Why would we sell ourselves to Pepsi when Coke was treating us so well? I’m sure there was some generic economic reason that the decision was made, but that doesn’t mean that the people who are extremely passionate about Coke deserve to have it ripped away from them without any fair warning. My unhealthy caffeine intake has been greatly reduced by the new vending machine choice. While some might make the argument that this is probably better for me both physically and mentally, I strongly disagree with this characterization. When I’ve been twitching from caffeine in my evening classes in the past, I have had some of my greatest moments at BU. Inspirational presentations have been presented, loud noises have been made and many hands have been raised in philosophy discussion sections.

What are we to do if we no longer have access to our addiction, my fellow Coke lovers? The answer is to double down against the Pepsi regime. Email your family and friends and tell them to stop drinking Pepsi. Tell them that BU needs their help in preventing a total Pepsi takeover of upstate New York. This is where we take our stand.

My favorite fast food restaurant in the entire world, which I have written a previous column on, uses Coke products. If Moe’s, a location that every person in this country should attend on a weekly basis, uses Coke products, then BU should also use Coke. Even if it takes a long time for changes to be made, my hope is that someday BU can return to its glory days. I will keep on praying for change.

Sean Reichbach is a senior double-majoring in philosophy, politics and law and economics and is Pipe Dream’s Opinions Editor.