Close

One of the many sexual facts I’ve learned from experiencing, analyzing and talking about relationships on a close-to-daily basis is that no relationship has a perfectly even split of horniness.

This may seem pretty obvious, but it’s important to remember. In relationships, this imbalance tends to lead to a lot of miscommunication and, ultimately, arguments.

For example, you have your people who want to, and do, have sex two or three times a day, and people who want to have sex maybe once or twice a week. The problem sets in when these two types of people start dating.

In the beginning, you might be fine working on the emotional side of the relationship before you get to the physical stuff, but then, a couple of weeks or months in, you make the decision to start having sex. The horny person is going to want to have a lot of sex and the not-as-horny person isn’t going to feel the same way. This could lead to a number of things.

The not-as-horny person could get very intimidated by their partner’s behavior and begin to question their place in the relationship. They could also start to feel like they aren’t enough to satisfy their partner, leading to some serious self-esteem issues.

The horny person could feel annoyed that their partner doesn’t want to get in the sack. This could lead to this person feeling like their partner isn’t sexually attracted to them, also leading to self-esteem issues, but of a different kind.

Guys and girls can feel like this too. It’s a common misconception that guys are always horny and girls always hold out. Believe me. I may not be a woman, but I know a handful of girls who are probably some of the horniest people I’ve ever met. No, I will not be giving any introductions. Sorry, guys.

It’s a horse of a different color in every relationship and a solution isn’t always the easiest thing to find. It’s all about doing what you feel comfortable with. Masturbation is always a safe possibility for the people who are too horny. It shouldn’t be embarrassing and yes, everyone does it.

Porn is also a good idea for the horny person. I know some people think that porn constitutes some form of cheating in a relationship, but I don’t think that’s true in most cases. Watching porn doesn’t mean that anyone will have any less of a romantic connection with his or her partner.

Still, my opinion isn’t going to count much if you end up in a fight with your partner; it’s up to the couple.

Balancing out horniness in a couple isn’t easy. There are a lot of different situations and a lot of different couples, but even if it isn’t easy, it won’t ever be impossible. Remember, even though you aren’t built the same way sexually, that doesn’t mean that you can’t make it work for your relationship.