Not sleeping is the coolest! I’ve tried feeling fully rested for two-thirds of the day, but nothing feels better than being exhausted all of the time. Not convinced? My inner cheerleader can barely make the B-squad, but I give her credit for her continued attempts at encouragement.

She lets me know that it is completely OK to not be able to fall asleep for hours, only to convince myself that I am sleeping and it’s just the dream where my roommate is studying and someone is using the almost impressively creaky bathroom stall 10 feet away.

Yet in spite of this majestic sequence of events, I know I am awake. The urge to lie to myself remains strong, even if it is ineffective. It’s only human nature to want to accept things that do not seem within our power to change, because it’s easier than being continually frustrated.

And few things are more frustrating than not being able to fall asleep.

As anyone who has tried forcing herself to go to sleep when she isn’t tired knows, it is extremely mentally exhausting. It is only easy to fall asleep when your mind is at rest or when you are incredibly bored.

Unfortunately for me, it means I’m rarely tired because my mind is always racing. It is a hard feat to actively try and put your mind to rest. I also get bored at the most inconvenient times, like in the middle of class, but get excited right before bed.

Compared to their daytime counterparts, nightly activities seem to be much more stimulating, especially when you consider that counting sheep is among my top interests.

My poorly timed energy levels aside, I needed to come up with a solution. I could not withstand another night of lying in my bed for three hours trying to sleep. It was becoming unbearable (mainly because I do not settle for reruns and my writer’s block was preventing me from fabricating any more dreams).

I finally came to the conclusion that if the combination of NyQuil and reading the indexes in my textbooks was not putting me to sleep, I was in desperate need of a new game plan.

And so, after a week of insomnia, I decided that rather than convincing myself that I am tired or asleep, I should just appreciate being awake. There really are a lot of good things about not being able to sleep.

It’s a time when silence does not mean you said something uncomfortable, when wearing two turtlenecks at once is cool and when the lounge acts as a place of solace rather than a great cave echoing poorly-muffled coughs.

Being the only person awake also ensures that you act on your own interests. Without the pressure of others trying to dictate what a group of people do and where, you only have yourself to worry about. Whether you want to read a book of substance or search endlessly for Waldo, it is all about pursuing what you want.

All-nighters were the coolest thing when I was younger ‘ right after biking with no hands ‘ and I’m going to bring them back. I realize that a lot of people will view my decision to just not sleep as more of a disorder to be treated than a choice to be made, but to them I respond: ‘Gosh, just leave me alone,’ or in college terms, ‘Sleep is overrated.’

When you live on your own schedule, it’s easier to live on your own terms. I changed my schedule to fit my own situation rather than adjusting myself to others’ schedules, and it is wonderful. And if you ever see me talking and pointing on my way to class, don’t think I am being rude, I am just counting sheep.