Lock:

Indianapolis (-2) over Dallas

It’s been 10 weeks and I haven’t gotten a single lock right yet. I wonder if people really realize how truly difficult doing that is. The odds of this happening, assuming that there is a 50-50 chance of picking correctly, is .09 percent. I couldn’t pull this off if I tried. People give me lots of advice, go with the opposite of what I think, pick based on logo, summon Pan the goat god to make my picks. But I’m still just going to make picks based on the facts. The Colts toy with bad teams and play down to their level; that’s why Buffalo was almost able to upset them. Dallas is an elite team and the Colts will show up to play just like they did against New England. But just to be sure, I have my Tony Romo voodoo doll ready to go.

Upset Special:

Jets (+7) over Chicago

The Jets are fired up and have a legitimate chance to sneak into the playoffs as the last Wild Card team in the AFC. Plus, Rex Grossman cannot win at the Meadowlands two weeks in a row, and if he does, don’t be surprised if the news is leaked that the former Florida Gator sold his soul to Lucifer sometime during the off-season.

Game 1:

Arizona (-2 1/2) over Detroit

I don’t know why I keep picking Arizona, but all I know is after Matt Leinart failed to avenge his best friend Nick Lachey against Tony Romo last week, the former 98 Degrees front man had a long talk with the rookie QB and made him realize that if Arizona manages to win, “it’s all because of you.”

Game 2:

Baltimore (-4) over Atlanta

Michael Vick may be great in a video game, but he is not “God’s Linebacker.” I’m so glad to see that God had nothing better to do then to give Ray Lewis to the sport of football; no word yet on whether Ray-Ray plans to turn Gatorade into wine after the game.