Professor Richard T. Antoun’s name was added to his brother-in-law’s “List of Fallen Heroes” at the conclusion of a memorial Friday, during which mourners celebrated the life of a man who stood for peace and understanding.
Family members and colleagues shared their memories of Antoun, known as Dick to those close to him, with more than 350 people at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Binghamton on Riverside Drive. Those who could not fit inside the main chapel crowded into two other rooms, which held more than 50 people each, where they watched the service on monitors.
From outside any of the three rooms, gatherers could be heard experiencing the same emotions through their sobs at certain points and laughs at others, as they grieved the death of Dick Antoun. He was stabbed to death Dec. 4 at the age of 77.
SOMEONE TO COUNT ON
His wife, Rosalyn Antoun, and son, Nicholas Antoun, were among the first to speak in a list that including his sisters, cousin, friends and other acquaintances. His brother-in-law, the Rev. David J. Miller, moderated the hour-and-a-half service, which focused on personal remembrances rather than readings. It was broken up by a choral interlude, as well as a solo song by his daughter-in-law.
Rosalyn Antoun said her late husband was a person she could always count on, whether it be for his habit of getting The New York Times each morning, walking with her every afternoon or rotating turns when it came to cooking dinner. She took Mondays and Wednesdays, he Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Those in attendance got even more of a sense of Dick Antoun’s personal life when they heard from Nicholas Antoun, who recalled his father’s love for sports — namely the Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots and eventually the Bearcats — and the roadtrips they took to watch their favorite teams together. He highlighted the fact that his father emphasized the importance of the game rather than the win.
But more than that, Nicholas Antoun remembered his dad as a “very civil man, a man of the ’50s in the best sense.” He said his father rarely used profanity, and chuckled when he said that if someone were to cut his father off on the road, he’d say something like, “Come on, Mack!”
The laughter in the room was only a brief escape, as Nicholas Antoun quickly brought the memory of his father’s respectable character back to a serious tone.
“He did not belittle others. He had kind words for everyone,” he said through tears.
EVER THE SCHOLAR
Both of Antoun’s sisters echoed the memory of their brother’s gentle and warm nature — one focused on his passion for conflict resolution, and the other his playful spirit, despite the fact that he was nine years older. His younger sister, Linda Antoun Miller, remembered the days she first learned how to read, and how she used her new skill to help her brother learn the stats on the back of baseball cards by quizzing him.
She also talked about her brother’s knack for bringing people of all ages together, and his lifelong efforts to explain the fundamentals of Islam. She referenced a course she taught in their hometown, with which Dick Antoun was assisting her.
“In my own small way, I’m trying to carry on his life and passion. I must do it without him now,” she said. “Dick will forever live on in my heart as my loving brother.”
The need to forward Dick Antoun’s passion for academics was repeated several times throughout the service. Miller, who said that his family seems so much smaller than it did a few days earlier, described him as “ever the scholar.”
Carol Finch, who knew Dick Antoun as a member of the Congregation as well as through his wife, said he was a “consummate teacher, not lecturing or preaching, just sharing his knowledge of the world.”
“For Dick, not just teaching, but learning, was a passion,” she said in between sobs. “His excitement was contagious … He always had a twinkle in his eye. He was a tireless worker for peace and understanding in the world.”
More than one of the speakers recalled Dick Antoun with his signature item, a lined, yellow notepad. He used it during lectures, research and even leisure, which sometimes translated to being proactive outside of the classroom too. One such instance was his participation in the church.
“He understood something very much at the heart of the faith: working towards peace, openness and understanding,” said Antoun’s the Rev. Douglas Taylor. “I cannot yet imagine the ways I’ll miss Dick in the years to come.”
That desire for understanding was something Miller shared with Dick Antoun, especially when it came to representing Islam fairly. Miller touched on the far-reaching impact of Antoun’s death, and said that although his brother-in-law was not a national hero, his name belongs with the likes of the Kennedys, Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr. and others on what he calls his list of fallen heroes.
The common denominator between these individuals is the fact that they were silenced by the force of violence, he said. The way in which Dick chose to live his life, coupled with the way he died, puts him in the same category.
Dick Antoun received his doctorate from Harvard University in 1963. He was a professor emeritus at BU, where he joined the anthropology department in 1970. He wrote six books.
A candle-lighting ceremony was held on campus Thursday evening, during which members of the Student Association spoke, along with representatives from the Muslim Student Association, Campus Bible Fellowship, Hillel and history professor Donald Quataert. More than 20 members of the campus community attended.
— Anjana Nattanmai and Chelsea McGovern contributed to this report.