I definitely wouldn’t consider myself a very outgoing person, and I think most people who’ve been around me for any significant amount of time would agree. Sometimes I would rather have a nice night at home, where every minute is something I expect, than go out with friends somewhere I’ve never been and risk finding myself in an uncomfortable situation.

It’s a bad habit, I know, but it’s much easier to acknowledge that fact than to actually do something about it. Even now, as a graduate student about to finish my time in college and (hopefully) join the workforce, it is an aspect of my personality that I struggle with.

Recently, though, every time I am faced with the choice of sticking with what is familiar and predictable or stepping out of that confining box, I’ve been making a deliberate effort to remind myself of my choices that have led me to Pipe Dream.

It started with the choice to attend a Pipe Dream GIM. This wasn’t even something I decided to do myself — it was more about appeasing a friend I already had in Pipe Dream who, rightfully so, gave me flak for not going to other events. Despite my anxiety about the packed room, everyone I spoke to seemed incredibly friendly and genuine, so much so that I took a small leap and signed up to join the Copy section.

Once I formally joined the Copy section, I made the decision to attend each Sunday and Wednesday production — except for some “sick days.” Every production had something new to tackle — whether they were debates on which Resident Evil game was the best or accusations of plagiarism based on the appearance of one too many em dashes. And even though many of these things weren’t predictable or comfortable to deal with, I still found myself having a great time in large part because of the people I found in copy.

More recently, I decided to become the assistant copy desk chief. Ignoring the fact that I was coerced into this decision because I was the only real option left on the table, it was still a much larger choice than I was used to. It came with more responsibilities, way more hours and generally more unpredictability than I would’ve liked. And yet, despite that, I still found myself excited to come in each and every day.

So how do these decisions make sense? Pipe Dream’s unpredictability and stress should make it the very definition of things I don’t like.

As I said, I still struggle to get myself motivated to put myself out there. Even after all my time at Pipe Dream, I still hate going into things that have any chance of making me uncomfortable. The only change is that now I can take solace in the fact that, as long as I am able to make just a few friends, I’ll always be able to carve out a space for myself wherever I end up. So, to anyone who feels the same as me, you don’t have to take every risk, but it is worth putting yourself out there every once in a while and building new friendships.

To all of those who have helped me carve out this space over the years:

Lia and Allison: You guys have been great friends to me both within Pipe Dream and outside of it. I almost definitely wouldn’t have stuck with it if it weren’t for both of you, even though I give you stress. I would’ve missed out on so many good times, so thank you.

Pipe Dream Staff: Joseph and Christina, thank you for always being able to get me the sources when I needed them, even when it was at two in the morning, and apologies for bothering you so much about it. Gabe, hopefully the Copy section wasn’t too distracting. You never said it was, but if it was distracting for us, I can only imagine it was for you guys as well. For the rest of the staff, it’s been awesome getting to know you better over the past year and Pipe Dream simply wouldn’t be what it is without your support.

People from over the years: Jacob, the office looks weird without you sitting over in the photo section in the corner of my eye, and I still owe you for the free ride on your skateboard. Bella, I hope you are doing well these days, and that you still look back on your time on the copy team fondly. And to everyone else I don’t have space for here, I miss you all and I hope you remember my humor fondly (kidding, but only a little).

Emma and Grace: Sometimes I have to remind myself that you guys are my bosses, since you both started at the exact same level as me as copy contributors. But more seriously, you guys have done an incredible job leading the paper this past year through some difficult times. All the late nights together have absolutely been helped by having you guys there, and I really do appreciate the advice you guys have given — even if you were a little meaner than necessary.

Stephanie: I will always be grateful for the fact that I got to be in this position with you. Even though our time together has included a lot of stress and anxiety, from missed mistakes, unsourced messes and “interesting” stories, having someone to share the burden with and make jokes with no matter what time of night has been an absolute pleasure. I don’t think I would’ve been at all able to do this without you, both because of the moral support and because I definitely would’ve been fired for all the mistakes. Genuinely, thank you.

The Copy team — Dylan, Emma, Sam, Ella, Ellie and Sasha: You guys always made it exciting to come into the office, because every day you brought new stories to complain about and new topics to yap about. Copy wouldn’t be copy if too much time was spent reading instead of talking, and you guys made sure it stayed like that in the best way possible. For Dylan and Emma specifically, I’m very confident you’ll make a great team next year. Dylan, try not to go crazy with the whiteboard, and Emma, I absolutely think you’ll be able to put up with him if Stephanie could deal with me.

My friends: Now seems a very on-topic time to apologize for skipping out on plans sometimes. It’s just who I am, but you definitely know that by now. Truly could not be any more grateful for you guys!

Max Bouchier, a first-year graduate student studying business administration, is Pipe Dream’s assistant copy desk chief.