Relationships are confusing — especially in college. Here at Pipe Dream, we want to give you some advice on navigating the scary world of sex and dating in college. In this column, we give insight based on submissions from our readers.
Q: I’m trapped in an endless cycle of situationships. How can I get out and find a real relationship?
It’s kind of cliché, but it honestly comes down to where you meet people. If you look for relationships when you’re out at the bars or on dating apps, it’s hard to make real connections with people. Even though it’s a lot more intimidating, I’d try meeting people in classes, clubs or through friends.
Sometimes it really just comes down to luck. Love also has a way of finding you when you least expect it.
Q: How do I kick my roommate out for my sneaky link?
As long as you give a couple of hours’ notice, I think your roommate will understand. Or, you could try finding out their class schedule and bringing your sneaky link over when you know they’re occupied. If you can’t, then you’ll just have to threaten them with awkward silence until they leave.
Q: I’m a virgin because I don’t have an interest in hook-up culture and have high standards when it comes to a relationship. Why does this reduce me to being a “loser” in our society today? Why should I be at all embarrassed?
When you come to college, it can seem like everyone is having hookups, but I think there are more people in the same boat as you than you’d think. Everyone has different expectations when it comes to sex and if you’d rather wait for a lasting connection, then that is totally okay.
Q: I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and he’s still not great at giving head — what do I do?
Practice makes perfect! Tell him what he’s doing wrong and how to fix it. Or, suggest he watch some tutorials.
Q: How do I break up with my boyfriend?
Quickly and painlessly. Opt to do it in person rather than over text.
Q: How do I signal to someone that I want them to ask me out? I don’t want to ask them out because I’ve asked a bunch of people out and I’m tired of being rejected.
It’s pretty hard to get someone to ask you out without doing it yourself. I’m a firm believer in saying what you feel, so I’d say just ask them out. And if you do get rejected, remember — rejection is protection!
Q: How to get an emotionally unavailable guy to like you?
Find a better one. Don’t waste your time on low-effort men. There are plenty of guys out there who will make it clear they like you — and that’s what you deserve.
Q: How do we keep the spark alive when we’re long distance? (sexually and emotionally)
Talking every day is really important to staying emotionally connected, even if it is just over text. Update each other on your day with pictures — whether it’s a cute dog, something funny that happens in class or your outfit of the day. You can also watch shows together on FaceTime or watch the same show separately and talk about each episode together. Even if you can’t physically be together, sharing little moments of the day helps keep you in each other’s lives.
Pictures are also great for keeping the sexual spark alive, but obviously, a very different kind of picture. And when you do get to see each other, be 100 percent present, because the time you get together is so much more special when it’s rare.
Q: Any advice on moving forward from a difficult situation, especially when the person is still friends with everyone you know?
Meaningful distractions are the best way to move on. Spend time with yourself. Explore new hobbies, treat yourself to new clothes or self-care, start a new workout routine and just try to focus on yourself.
Hanging out with your friends is also important, but set boundaries on whether or not you want to talk about the other person.