Let’s talk about one of the most dreaded topics in sex: rejection.
First of all, never assume it’s a sure thing. I don’t care how passionate your dancing was on the floor of the Rat, I don’t care how many drinks you think he or she had — never just tag along like a lost puppy.
One of my friends once hooked up on the floor of a bar with a completely random guy. Let’s start out by saying that this guy was probably not a keeper. He shoved a business card down her shirt that held the names of six different guys and their phone numbers purely for sex.
What girl wouldn’t want to take that home to mom?
Anyway, long story short, she goes to leave and he follows her. Now she just assumes, “Okay, I didn’t tell him that he could come back, he probably just lives near me.” He proceeds to follow her all the way back to her room and she has to kick him out at that point, bringing me to my point: Never assume.
If anything, get it in writing.
On the flip side, say you’re hitting on a guy or a girl really hard — for argument’s sake, I’ll say it’s a girl and the person doing the flirting is a guy — and she tells you she’s a lesbian.
Do not try to turn her, do not try to convince her to prove it. Just leave it.
If she is a lesbian you probably don’t stand a chance. If she’s not a lesbian, then the fact that she’s willing to tell you that she likes women just to get you to stop flirting with her should give you a hint as to how attracted she is to you.
I also want to say, if you’re not into someone, don’t call yourself a sexuality that you’re not. It’s not really fair to the other person. Just be upfront about it. Sure, it might sting a little more to the other person, but when it comes to sex and relationships, I’ve always found that honesty is the best policy; it’s what we all deserve.
One other thing to remember is that rejection is not the be-all and end-all. Not to say you should stalk a person all night, but you aren’t automatically ugly, unattractive, stupid or any negative stereotype just because you got rejected.
They’re just the wrong person for you, and this concept doesn’t just apply to sex. If someone turns you down for a date or stands you up, that’s not the end of the world. If anything, especially if they’re being rude, it says something bad about them.
I know way, way, way too many people who destroy themselves over one person, and really, it’s not worth it. I’ve even had to teach myself that recently, so I’ve taken my own advice, and from personal experience, I can say that one rejection isn’t worth the time or the tears.
About 90 percent of the time, though, you can’t just tell yourself that. So if you have a huge problem with someone rejecting you or breaking up with you, find a friend. Whether you have to call them or text them or whatever, talk to someone who cares about you.
So, to sum it up, rejection sucks on either end. It’s hard to reject someone and it’s hard to be rejected, but guess what? It happens. It’s not the hardest thing you could go through in life, so just stay optimistic that one day, you’ll get laid, too. Or married. Whichever comes first.