Eli Klein
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Speed. Agility. Power. These are just a few of the many qualities I exude when I put on my metaphorical boxing gloves and step in the imaginary ring, all of which can be transported at a moment’s notice to my room, shower or even outside the bar when my friends start talking out of pocket.

The problem is that all that speed, agility and power I am certain I have mastered does not translate to when someone stands in front of me. The Muhammad Ali footwork I once possessed looks more like that of a white person dancing, my Floyd Mayweather trash talk slowly turns to that of a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant and my sheer power, like that of Mike Tyson, transforms into that of a small white child (A.K.A not remotely anything like Tyson).

Do we hold the same image of ourselves that others perceive?

Growing up, I was always the shortest kid in the class. Girls grew first, guys grew second and I just didn’t. But when I started to grow, my image of myself didn’t. For some reason, I still often feel shorter in stature than people who fit comfortably in my shadow. It wasn’t until recently when I ran into a girl who hadn’t seen me in years. She practically gasped at the transformation, and it occurred to me that I changed … and it wasn’t until after I failed miserably at rizzing her up that I reflected on my self-image. #shootersshoot

I guess I’m trying to say that a mirror is the most truthful liar. It shows us a reality, but lies by omission by failing to illustrate what’s behind the curtains. The mirror doesn’t tell us whether we’re pretty or short or an asshole. It’s just our mind’s twisted interpretation of the reality presented to us. The beautiful see the ugly. The ugly see the beautiful. Drake sees a teenage boy, and teenage boys see Drake when they bump “Marvin’s Room.” In the end, the mirror’s reflection is our mind’s projection.

Regardless, I still love to see Tyson staring back at me in the mirror. I feel jacked af. My biceps are really coming along. Tan needs a little work. I have an appointment with this poke and dot tattoo artist next week. Wish me luck.

Eli Klein is a senior majoring in political science.

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