Years ago, while sitting around the dinner table at her house, my aunt gave my sisters a little piece of advice: That throughout life they were going to come into contact with frogs on their journeys to find princes. These frogs would try to trick them into thinking that they were really princes in disguise. Now, little did my aunt know that there was also a little gay boy sitting there, taking it all in. She did, however, leave out a crucial piece of the story — how many frogs you’d come in contact with before you stumble across a prince.
Since I’ve been out and about on my own journey, I’ve come into contact with a lot of frogs. Many of them were obviously frogs from the get-go, but a good time nonetheless. Of course, I also encountered my fair share of the more dangerous kind — the ones that trick you into thinking they might be a prince. These guys are the type that make you let down some of those walls you’ve been forced to surround yourself with; the type that you hope will turn every corner or pass by while you’re sitting at a table in the Marketplace you’ve deemed easy to be spotted at; the type that you look forward to sleeping next to, even though your arms always fall asleep before they do.
They are the type you want to introduce to your friends, but more so the type you hope wants to introduce you to their friends. These frogs are dangerous — and, unfortunately for many of us, we have to kiss a lot of them, just to be ultimately disappointed when you finally notice that they never go through a “Sailor Moon”-esque style transformation from wart-ridden toad to Tuxedo Mask.
It’s hard not to fall for it, but you know what? That’s OK. I know this is going to sound cliché and basic but what I’ve learned from kissing all these frogs, and always going back to the worst ones time and time again, is that it takes all the drama, all the late-night wine and Adele moments, to finally wake up. It takes all of that to realize that the prince is a waste of your time. It’s 2015, and soon it’ll be 2016. We’re basically living in the future, so why do we want a medieval relationship? Go kiss all the frogs if you want to. Instead of searching for princes, go search for some good lighting. Buy yourself a new ball gown or get a little heavy handed with the lip liner for a change. In the words of Latrice Royale, “Get up! Look sickening, and make them eat it!”