You can’t spell sexuality without sex, and chances are you won’t have particularly amazing sex without knowing your sexuality. It’s Pride Week here at Binghamton University.
Now, I can’t talk about all LGBTQ things in one piece, but I will focus on one aspect. Tuesday, Oct. 11 happened to be National Coming Out Day, a day to honor the act of telling the world that one belongs to the LGBTQ community, whether you came out or will come out — as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or any of the many other sexualities not included in the LGBTQ title.
Coming out is a personal experience and the idea of acceptance or rejection is a difficult part of the experience of any LGBTQ person, though it may be harder for some than others. For example, if your family is particularly conservative, then you may never address your own thoughts questioning your sexuality, let alone come out to your family.
On the other hand, if you were raised by two mothers, you are far more likely to come out, should you discover that you have tendencies toward the LGBTQ side of sexual orientations.
One of the harsher stories I’ve been told was by one of my friends in high school, when he came out to his mother. I’d like to prelude this story by saying that it is in no way the harshest coming out story ever. He was not disowned, nor was he abused, but it should be recognized that those things do happen to some people who come out and seek acceptance for being who they are from those they love most.
My friend was very close with his family, but he was worried about coming out to his mother because she was — and still is — dedicated to her faith. As it was explained to me, he decided to come out to his mother first because he didn’t think he could handle coming out to both his parents at the same time, and that his mother might react better. I am unaware of how their actual conversation played out, but I do know of the letter my friend was given from his mother.
The letter said a lot of hurtful things, and its overall message was saying that he would never have a happy family. He and his mother have since repaired their relationship, but the letter was undeniably damaging at the time.
Of course, not all coming out stories are bad. In fact, some of them give hope to the entire gay community. After “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was repealed, a young gay soldier filmed a YouTube video in which he came out to his father live.
The soldier talks about how he needed four hours to build up the confidence to make the phone call. Some of the things his dad told him were, “I still love you son” and “It doesn’t change our relationship.” The video has since gone viral with more than 4.5 million hits, and has spread a positive message for members of the LGBTQ community everywhere.
Society is changing and more people are becoming accepting of those in the LGBTQ community, and while that is something to be proud of, many still make it difficult for people to accept that they may belong to that community. Coming out is always difficult, in the present day at least, and there is always anxiety, no matter who you’re telling.
Those who are afraid and those who have experienced negative reactions need to do their best to be strong and know that there are a lot of people out there who are rooting for them, trying to send the message that it gets better.