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Sex isn’t pretty.

Sex is awkward, funny and a little bit gross, and it just so happens to feel really good.

I can understand why people try so hard to make sex sexier but honestly, it should probably just be left alone. Think about it, you may have hooked up with someone in the past with a strange quirk.

For example, I once knew someone who would pull back after kissing and make a Zoolander face. Every time he did it, I would wonder what porn movie he stole that move from and why he thought it was sexy.

People model during sex all the time, probably because it is one of the things they’ve seen in porn. It’s just not that attractive, but hey, that’s how we learn.

Porno depictions of sex are often over-the-top in ways I would never want my sexual experiences to be. The porn industry edits so much out to glamorize and commercialize sex as much as possible so that more people will be into its movies. So, not everything they do in porn applies to the real world.

Seriously, stop making faces that belong on blow up dolls.

Dirty talk can be sexy, but only when it’s done right. It’s the lurking influence of the porn industry again. People try to do what they think of as sexy because it’s how we see sex practiced, and a lot of times it just comes off as over-the-top and disingenuous.

If you feel the need to compliment me on something that I’m doing or some quality I possess, just come out and say it. Don’t worry about making it sound sexy. If you’re going to say something to me relating to my sex game, I want you to mean it. If you’re going to make some kind of sound because of my sex game, I really want you to mean it.

I’m not about faking things in the bedroom, and that’s probably why I never understood fake orgasms. If you don’t finish, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it was a bad sexual experience, and your partner should understand that. Sometimes you just aren’t going to finish, guys and girls alike.

Just because you want to make sure your sex is outstanding doesn’t mean you have to reinvent the wheel, either. There shouldn’t be a necessity for double back handsprings off of sex swings; there’s nothing wrong with missionary position. If you want variety, go for it. But I find people put too much pressure on being different. Desperately trying to be unique in the bedroom could end up making the experience worse in the long run.

People shouldn’t have to stress about sex, though trying to look, sound and act perfect in the bedroom will lead you to just that. Sex is one of those things where it’s better to go with the flow. Just be honest with your actions; that’s what makes the sexual experience the best.