Spotted on the Release desk in the Pipe Dream office: The first three episodes of the new season of “Gossip Girl.” Of course we watched them despite the letter saying they were still unfinished. Given the opportunity, how could we not? Hasn’t the whole world (or roughly 2 million viewers) been waiting for months to find out what has been happening with our favorite Upper Eastsiders — Blair, Chuck, Serena and Nate — and their poor counterparts in Brooklyn— Dan, Jenny and Vanessa? The episodes had their share of “OMFG” moments, but there were several more “lolz, wtf?” Your reviewers: Chris Harnick, Meaghan Trainor and Jan Hocker.
Chris Harnick, Release Editor:
“‘Gossip Girl” is back and as ridiculous as ever. The kids are in the Hamptons, naturally, being pretty and rich. It’s what they do. Was this the one with the Vitamin Water-sponsored white party?”
Meaghan Trainor, Release Writer:
“Can Vitamin Water sponsor one of our parties? There’s a ridiculous reveal at the end that confirmed the show is as trashy as ever.”
Chris:
“Oh, and Kristen Bell (the voice of “Gossip Girl”) was as sassy ever, despite the line saying Blair is as big a bitch as karma.”
Jan Hocker, Release Writer:
“The abbreviations and the alliterations need to be put in check.”
Meaghan:
“The alliterations are awfully annoying.”
Jan:
“OMFG, ‘Gossip Girl’ is going to be good. I love how the Manhattan elite still look down on Brooklyn …”
Meaghan:
“Even though it’s so trendy right now!”
Chris:
“A signal of being poor on this show is a plaid shirt, an open vest and sneakers.”
Chris:
“The second episode was a lot better than the first I thought. It was even more ridiculous with an even bigger reveal. Some classic Blair and Chuck moments, too.”
Jan:
“My favorite part of episode two was the insanely crass bus seduction scene between Dan and Serena. It was all conveniently done with chocolate covered strawberries …”
Meaghan:
“Who has chocolate covered strawberries on a bus?”
Jan:
“Anyway, Chuck’s as smarmy and sexy as ever. Those two things shouldn’t go together, but they do for Chuck!”
Meaghan:
“It’s true, though! Can we talk about how little I care about what’s happening with Dan and Serena?”
Jan:
“I think Blair is still Queen B and I can care less about Serena.”
Meaghan:
“They’re trying to do a will they or won’t they, but I don’t care if they do or don’t. I just don’t like the story line.”
Jan:
“I’ve lost my interest in the entire Humphrey family.”
Meaghan:
“I’m glad they introduced some new characters, Marcus and Catherine, even if they’re ridiculous.”
Chris:
“Episode three of course has a party, but this one is interrupted with a blackout and naturally some drama. There was strange attempted rape (we think) and I would’ve liked if Catherine had attempted to kill Vanessa with something more than an icy glare.”
Meaghan:
“I feel like last year it was taking itself a little too seriously and trying to be a real show, but now it’s kind of embraced the fact that it’s tawdry and ridiculous, and has gone all out. It’s so over the top, and that’s what makes it so entertaining.”
“Gossip Girl” premieres Monday, Sept. 1, at 8 p.m. with subsequent episodes on Sept. 8 and Sept. 15 on The CW.