There has been notable upheaval brewing within the ranks of the Republican conglomerate/white supremacist headquarters. Even in these very pages, conservatives have aired their grief with Sen. John McCain’s imminent White House run. (1)
Despite his dubious “100 years in Iraq” quip, despite the disquieting effect he has on registered fascists and gun show enthusiasts and despite the fact that he’s been getting the senior price at multiplexes for around 10 years — or maybe because of it all — McCain is sitting well with the growing majority of sane Americans who are beginning to understand the havoc louder Republicans have wreaked and will be certain to pull again.
All things considered (the two-sided Morman waffle and polygamy devotee, a septuagenarian Baptist physician whose platform hinges on the dissolution of modern conceptions of currency, a Baptist who rejects evolution in favor of the Chuck-Norris-begat-humanity pastiche and the rest of the 1981 Harlem Globetrotters’ expansion roster), it should be no surprise that McCain is poised to be the party’s front-runner. When this is what you send up to redeem the failings of moral decency and common sense of the better part of the last decade, what more do you expect?
Be that as it may, staunch conservatives are not convinced; for all its obvious bandwagoning, the ungluing of the Republican political machine is fun to watch, if only to see Ann Coulter and evangelical czar James Dobson screaming about the End of Days until their faces turn red. And then melt.
Coulter even went so far as to pledge her allegiance to Hilary Clinton should McCain secure the GOP nod. This is the same shrill, unfeeling harpy who once suggested America would be a better nation if all its citizens were Christian. (2)
But why? Why such unbridled vitriol and blind — yet extremely pinpointed — hatred? Pundits assert McCain is not a “true Republican,” which might stem from McCain’s dubious liberal leanings (he tends to stay away from racist slurs and has been frequently seen conversing with Democrats without bleeding or convulsing).
There are, of course, larger reasons for the McCain pool of hate:
The senator frequently aligns his voting with that of Ted Kennedy. And no one worth their undeserved tax rebates respects Ted Kennedy.
The senator frequently backs environmental initiatives, most notably one that put a stop to drilling in Anwar, thus making the practice of war for oil that much more plain.
The senator is not George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Ronald Reagan, Jeb Bush, Pat Buchanan or Billy Bush. (3)
The right’s antipathy toward McCain is absolute, and why shouldn’t it be when McCain’s consistent, equatable views stand to undermine all the self-serving cushion politics of fat men with fatter pockets?
Honestly, the nerve of this man to speak about war like he had been there. How dare he fight against lobbyist kickbacks, careless spending and rendition. Surely this means the terrorists have won.
In any case, McCain’s ascension hardly signals the end of the world, at least for Americans who still believe in civil rights, and even if he beats out the Clinton/Obama tornado freak show of heavy politicking, the mere fact that McCain’s success gives Rush Limbaugh heart palpitations is comforting enough.
(1)Said writers have since been deported and their personal effects burned.
(2)She did immediately qualify that statement, saying she just meant it would be better if none of them were Jews, so, there’s that.
(3)Noxious host of “Access Hollywood,” actually related to George Bush(es).