There is a certain stigma that surrounds socially reserved people.

Instead of being accepted for this characteristic, these people are looked at as having a problem that needs to be fixed. This is especially the case in America, where the most aggressive and loud children are also the ones who garner the most popularity. However, according to a recent article by wikiHow, this is not the case in places like Europe or Asia, where sensitivity and a soft-spoken nature are favored.

Knowing this, I cannot help but feel discriminated against at times because I do not have the “right” kind of personality.

I have never been much of a social butterfly, but I try to have a friendly temperament with everyone. I have learned to accept my shy nature, so I don’t really mind that I’m not the life of the party, surrounded by a whole entourage of people. Even so, I have been able to make friends and get involved in activities around campus. I have learned, however, that personality seems to be important for more than interaction with peers: It dictates how the world sees you.

Many ads state that employers want outgoing and energetic individuals, and put emphasis on personality rather than job competence. It does not matter if it is a simple clerical position; loud individuals are preferred over less talkative ones. This practice can even be witnessed on reality television shows. How many times have you watched an episode of a competition series such as “American Idol” and “America’s Next Top Model” where the contestant may have the talent, but is eliminated because he or she doesn’t have an eye-catching personality?

In college, we are presented with all kinds of resources that will help in the career search process — interview training workshops and social etiquette dinner programs are made available to us, so that we can be prepared when we go out into the workplace. I am grateful for the intentions of these programs, but I cannot help but feel as if we are being told that we have to put on a performance for employers to consider us. It all seems rather manipulative, rather than innate.

When revealing a weakness, we should work on phrasing our answers to make that weakness sound like a positive attribute. Have a big smile and be very animated. Go out of your way to compliment this complete stranger that you just met. The list goes on.

But whatever happened to the simplest advice of all? “Be yourself.” Sociability becomes a skill to perfect instead of a capacity for genuine interaction. If you are not adept at this skill, you are mistaken for a snob or called anti-social. Hundreds of self-help books have been written to guide more introverted people to eliminate these personality “defects,” as if it were an illness instead of just their natural disposition.

I’m not saying that it’s better to spend your life alone on account of your shy personality. Everyone needs some amount of healthy socialization in life. But it is unfair to be told you have to change your personality to fit the expectations of your culture.