Those words of the famed philosopher, known as Ludacris, say it best. Be it in a hall, along a narrow sidewalk or on the roads, nothing makes it quite as clear that you are most definitely in someone’s way.

I can’t tell you how many times a day I try to walk somewhere, only to be thwarted by people who were temporarily struck by a loss of motor control and forgot how to move. If the hallway is crowded and you can’t move over, fine — I understand that you have nowhere to go. You are forgiven.

Unfortunately, that is almost never the case.

Standing in a group, talking, in a doorway, is not acceptable. Attempting to recreate the “Law and Order” opening theme montage by walking with six people side by side down the sidewalk is not OK. Obstructing entrances, staircases and walkways is just inconsiderate in general.

Even more peeving is when someone blocks one of the aforementioned places, and then ignores the subsequent “excuse me.” For those of you who have lived this long and remained functionally brain-dead, “excuse me” translates roughly to “move, please,” or “get out of the way,” or, depending upon the inflection, “get out of my way, you [expletive expletives].” Now that we’ve learned the meaning of “excuse me,” let’s examine its appropriate application.

Example: A group of stereotypical Ugg-footed, sunglasses-the-size-of-your-head-wearing, Prada-carrying girls stands in front of a door that you really need to go through, completely blocking your way. Oh, one other thing: not only are they blocking you like your best friends block sketchy hook-ups, this group of girls is talking about something so trivial that your brain is seized by an overwhelming existential crisis and all function ceases. You say “excuse me,” as you walk up to them, recognizing that there is less than the sun’s chance in Binghamton that you’ll be able to squeeze by them and the wall because, uh, you occupy space. They continue to talk and completely ignore you. So what do you do? Well, while it may be contingent on a lot of other factors, such as the area under the curve created by their enormous asses and the wall, and what the shortest distance between two points is, if you’re anything like me, you make like a bowling ball (because after all, together they’re about the weight of a bowling pin … combined) and shove your way through.

This may come across as harsh, but it is necessary to remember that I’m not advocating being a total jerk until someone acts that way toward you first. I always say excuse me, and if you make any effort to scoot over, this isn’t for you. This is for the people that edge you off the sidewalk just so they can have the whole thing, and the people that decide to pick apart last night’s drunken adventures while reducing a busy hallway to a NYC-worthy traffic jam, or, when you say “excuse me,” the person who gives you a dirty look. This is especially for those people.

So, what do I want? I want everyone to study what we’ve learned about thoroughfare etiquette, and use it. When you see someone you need to talk to, move to an open space where people can get around you. Better yet, get your training wheels in multitasking rolling, and try walking and talking. Don’t worry, with practice you’ll get the hang of it, and maybe then you can try walking while you talk about something worthwhile. But I’m getting ahead of myself …

Molly Ariotti is a freshman political science and geography major with a concentration in hallway ethics.