The following editorial is a slight change of pace. You may have seen it in Pipe Bomb earlier this week, but we thought it was appropriate to re-print the fake column, given further coverage of Kevin Broadus’ complaints and because honestly, there’s no better way to reiterate our point. It’s right that he has the chance to voice his concerns, but we think Broadus’ actions and words didn’t have quite the effect he intended. Without further ado, here’s our interpretation of what Broadus is saying:

I recently filed a complaint to New York’s Division of Human Rights. In it, I detail how I was mistreated as coach of the basketball team. I also think it’s appropriate for the student body to hear my side of the story. Here it is:

I was fired because I am black.

I wasn’t fired because my players allegedly stole condoms from Wal-Mart, ran poorly-conceived debit card schemes or were charged with selling a little crack on the side.

I wasn’t fired because my coaching staff helped the players by rewriting their plagiarized papers or paying legal fees for their petty crimes.

I wasn’t fired because I was caught breaking NCAA recruiting rules, just two weeks after an investigation into the basketball program under my leadership was announced.

I wasn’t fired because I sometimes circumvented a few tiny University admissions standards to get players into Binghamton, or harassed teachers to change a grade here or there.

I wasn’t fired because, with the cooperation of President Lois DeFleur and other key administrators, I ran a program that single-handedly ruined this school’s reputation of academic excellence.

Nope, I was fired ‘cause I’m black.

Well, I shouldn’t say fired. I was put on paid leave. But still, this is some Jim Crow hate, even if the coach they chose to replace me with, Mark Macon, may or may not be black too. Even if I still make $235,000 for sitting at home, it’s about the principle of it. And, as I mention in my official complaint, the school took away my state-owned car and my school-provided credit card.

Blatant racism.

Let’s look at the 99-page report commissioned by SUNY. The report author Judith Kaye (who is now investigating Gov. David Paterson for ethical abuses … see a pattern here?) condemned many people at Binghamton for rule-breaking. All of the audit’s main targets were black. Except for a few small-time administrators — like Binghamton’s president, provost and athletic director — white people were barely mentioned.

The main reason provided for my paid leave by current athletic director Joel Norris is that: “Because you’re black, you can’t handle the stress of the investigation into the basketball program.” His words, more or less. But how can I be stressed? I’m getting paid a quarter-million to sit poolside.

Again, blatant racism.

As you can see, I’ve been unjustly mistreated. You can show your support at my new Web site, www.kevinbroadus.com. If you don’t agree with me, then I have to assume you are pro-slavery.

Thank you for your time.