For freshmen, returning home from college for the summer may feel like stepping into a different world. Students with a new-found sense of independence don’t have to feel like strangers in their own home, according to experts.

“Consider yourself an important part of the family, not a visitor, even if your bedroom has been turned over to a sibling or converted to an office,” said Lloyd Howe, associate vice president and dean of the students.

In most situations, Howe said, freshmen should anticipate that they won’t have as much independence as they experienced over the past 10 months.

“I recommend having a discussion with parents early on where these issues are broached and hopefully realistic expectations are agreed to, rather than waiting for ‘the first clash,’” he said. “Both the student and parent should give a little ground on this one.”

Even the small things count, according to Matthew Johnson, director of Binghamton University’s marriage and family studies laboratory.

“The biggest adjustment will simply involve having to communicate more with family members about the mundane, day-to-day activities of life,” Johnson said. “At college you need not answer to anyone and in all other parts of life you do, whether it is parents, significant others or bosses.”

Instead of chafing at this, Johnson said, let your parents know what you are doing.

“If one’s parents are concerned about something, it is helpful for the student to paraphrase the concern and convey that the concerns have been registered and understood,” he said. “This does not mean that you must agree with it, but simply knowing that you understand may ease tensions.”

You were missed, Johnson said, but your family might have enjoyed their freedom from you, too. It’s important to make a good first impression, such as offering to make dinner on the first night or arriving with flowers or gifts to show your family you appreciate them.

Howe agreed.

“Help out with the hold chores even if you haven’t been doing them in almost a year,” he said. “While you will want to do things with former high school friends and your BU friend who live near by, also take time to do some fun things as a family.”

One of the oldest concepts in psychology is “adolescent egocentrism,” Johnson said. “It means that adolescents, including freshmen, tend to think they are the center of all things,” he said.

Fight your egocentrism, Johnson said, and be a good listener.

“Ask questions of your parents and siblings and listen to their stories,” he said. “Even though you may have had the most interesting experiences with new friends, new classes and new residence, your family’s life did not stop.”

It is important for students to realize their first year of college marks the beginning of their adult relationship with their parents, said Melinda Holicky, parent relations coordinator at the Office of Alumni and Parent Relations.

“It can be a wonderful time of connection if students and their parents communicate and compromise well,” Holicky said. “It is a chance to get to know one another on a new level.”