Three months ago, you and your friends may have decided to go to St. Maarten for this spring break. Well, now it’s March and the only thing you planned was a Brazilian wax. Unfortunately, everyone else made great plans. They’re leaving without you and now you have to stay home by yourself and watch reruns of “Seinfeld.” Just kidding — Release is here to help.

Miami, Fla.:

Round-trip tickets to Miami from the Big Apple for $365 when booked with Orbitz.

Once you’re there, you can stay in a hostel to save money for partying; find one on Hostels.com. The Miami Beach International Travellers Hostel is clean, close to the beach and the cheapest one. It says $14 per night on the Web site, but when you e-mail them it’s $29.99 per night.

“It was right next to the beach, and always had sexy ass dudes walkin’ around topless,” said Sylvia Morse, who visited last year for spring break.

Other than that, you can get by on $20 a day for food, even less if you like Cup o’ Noodles. As for the Miami club life, you might have to drop a pretty penny, but that’s where pre-gaming and cleavage comes in handy (guys, you can stick to Miami University parties, you don’t like dancing anyway). This brings your total to $615 + partying + random expenses.

Myrtle Beach, S.C.:

It’s $319 round-trip and a lot calmer than Miami, but it’s not Binghamton! To rest your little head, you can book a party house next to the beach with Myrtlebeachtours.com for about $129 per person/per week. There’s more nightlife options than you’d think you’d get in one of the Carolinas. Look on Carolinanightlife.com to find your cup of tea. The people at Myrtlebeachtours.com’s help desk said they’re “super student-friendly, and hardly any noise complaints issued over parties.” Since it’s a house you should go shopping, cook your own food and party with your neighbors. This brings your flight and sleep total to $438.

Montreal, Quebec, Canada:

Get a group of four friends together who each pay about $50 for gas round-trip, and drive the six hours (from New York City) to glorious Canada. Partying there will cost as much as it would in New York City, but without the hassle of a fake ID since it’s 19 and over to drink and club. All you have to do is go to St. Catherine Street and listen for the music you like. You can also find a hostel nearby for around $20 per night with Hostelworld.com. This brings your total to $150 + food + alcohol + strip clubs + hockey games.

Atlantic City, N.J.:

A tank of gas will get you there, so split that with whoever you’re with (let’s say $20 each, four people). However, this is more for the grown and broke since you won’t get in anywhere unless you’re 21. Even without gambling, you can still enjoy the hotel pools and Jacuzzis which run for about $379 (for a Jacuzzi suite, and king size bed) for two people with American Lodge; or you can sneak a night at the Hilton for $69 to $200 that week.

The folks at the Hilton said, “Of course, we welcome students, but we do card at all of our bars.” You can always get a cheaper room, and just sneak into other hotels’ pools. Just look smug when you come in … and don’t wear your Abercrombie flip-flops so they won’t question you. That brings the total to $410 for two + food and your life savings, if you’re a sucker.