The Binghamton Energy contest has officially been under way for two weeks. Why should you care, besides the fact that global warming has become a national epidemic? The reward for the community that saves the most energy (as compared to last year) is $20,000.
Yes that’s 20 grand. Where is the money coming from? Hell, I have no idea. What is important, however, is what we, or the winning community, could do with that cash.
Let us look at the decision made by the previous winner — Mountainview College. Going with what may be the most logical choice, Mountainview chose to pimp out their already spanking new buildings with some high def plasma TV’s. How could you go wrong with a few flat screens on the wall? That’s right, you can’t! Mountainview, I commend your sensible decision, and all you hopeful winners out there, I highly recommend you consider what a few plasmas can do for the feng shui of a room.
So, what if you wanted something different than a sweet TV and the necessary Nintendo Wii you would buy with it? Another safe bet is a pool table. Not just any pool tale, but a 1920s vintage pool table. Personally, I would go with an official craps table and a hired croupier. They tell that me gambling is actually not allowed on campus, though.
If a TV and pool table don’t do it for you, there’s no need to panic. There are plenty of other mindless ways to blow 20 large. We all know how tiring the dining hall food can get, so why not splurge on your appetite? Though they were not available for comment, one can imagine how many wings the winning sum would buy from the Rat, or the number of meatballs Pepe’s could whip up for a few grand. If there is any cash left after the feast is over, I’d assume FitSpace would be glad to sell group memberships to those who can speak their language.
Where is this money coming from? Right, we don’t know. What is it for? Oh yes, “saving” the “most” energy. Ever wonder how the money could be spent if we bought things that actually helped the environment? Probably not. Anyway, here’s a snapshot of how “green” one could be with some extra green. $20,000 could purchase: 2,000 copies of Al Gores’ bestselling book, 40 full tanks of gas on the Toyota Prius (which would allow you to drive to China and back, twice), 2,000 standard fluorescent light bulbs, 1,000 Rubbermaid recycling bins and 50 pairs of the new Nike shoe, made of completely recycled leather.
In reality, most BU students care little about our environment, but do care about money. That is not to say there aren’t students out there who are genuinely concerned about global warming, and in preserving the environment. If it takes monetary incentives, but the environment is still to benefit, there is nothing wrong with having an energy contest here at Binghamton University. As long as when people ask why Binghamton students have begun showering in pairs, or only flushing on odd days, we can reply with pride “because it’s all about the Benjamins,” there is nothing to be ashamed about fellow Binghamtonians, or Binghamtonites or whatever.