Whether it’s their clothing style, their attitude or their friendships, students can be negatively affected by abusive or unhealthy relationships.

According to experts, many students on college campuses are in unhealthy relationships, even if they do not realize it.

“Some students stay in violent relationships because they don’t see that they are being abused,” said Nicole D’Avino, a junior psychology major and volunteer at the Broome County SOS Shelter. “Many times it is a student’s first relationship and they do not know any better.”

Witnessing an unhealthy relationship or domestic violence between parents can lead students to experience the same imbalance in their own relationships, D’Avino said.

“One way to identify an unhealthy relationship is when there are more times that the partners are fighting than when they are happy with one another,” Kathleen Cisek, president of the Women’s Student Union, said.

Many students realize that physical abuse is a problem, but do not know there are other factors making a relationship unhealthy, Cisek said. Abuse can start in small ways, such as one partner controlling what the other wears, who they hang out with and what rhetoric they use.

Once a relationship is started and a foundation of trust is created, it is harder for one partner to see the relationship as unhealthy and find a way out.

“Their relationship has become their support system,” Cisek said. “It’s a lot harder recognizing that the relationship can be potentially harmful when the student’s world is built around their partner.”

Abusers often lie to their partners, D’Avino added. If they do something wrong, they say they will never do it again, but most of the time they do.

Negative attention in the form of verbal abuse is also a sign that a relationship is unhealthy.

“Sometimes phrases or comments a partner says to another may be very damaging emotionally,” Cisek said. “Many times in these relationships, when you are away from the verbally abusive partner, you will spend time thinking of how upset you are with that person and with yourself.”

D’Avino agreed, adding that emotional abuse can take many forms.

“A partner could commit such acts as shouting at a partner, constantly criticizing them, humiliating a partner in public or private, or ridiculing their beliefs, culture or heritage,” she said.

Sexual abuse is also a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

“Verbal sexual abuse can be committed when a partner makes demeaning remarks about one’s gender, accuses a partner of sexual activities with others or calls a partner derogatory sexual names,” D’Avino said. “An abusive partner may also force a partner to take off their clothing, touch them in ways that make them feel uncomfortable or force a partner to have sex against their will.”

Physical abuse, another sign of an unhealthy relationship, is not only upon one’s body. According to D’Avino, physical abuse can occur when one restrains a partner with force, keeps a partner from calling 911 and prevents a partner from leaving.

Besides the emotional and physical stress of an unhealthy relationship, other lifestyle choices can be affected too.

“An unhealthy relationship can lead to low self-esteem, a loss of friends and a loss of one’s personal goals,” Cisek said. “Often a bad relationship can impede one’s growth both socially and intellectually.”

Hotlines and shelters are accessible to those involved in abusive relationships. According to D’Avino, the only way to end such violence is to educate women and make them realize it’s not healthy.

Students should not blame themselves if they are in an unhealthy relationship.

“You do have to make the choice of whether to stay in one or not,” Cisek said. “You can’t take back the time you were in an unhealthy relationship. In college, students should be out living, learning and growing.”