There’s college, and then there’s Big Ten college. Big Ten colleges (there are actually twelve) — which are University of Wisconsin-Madison, Indiana University, Penn State, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Purdue University, Michigan State University, University of Michigan, University of Nebraska-Lincoln, University of Minnesota, Ohio State University, University of Iowa and Northwestern University — have ridiculous amounts of spirit. They’re all part of the Big Ten Conference, which competes in the NCAA’s Division 1. They basically invented partying and fill up 75 percent of Facebook News Feeds with pictures of football games and tailgates. Here are 10 big differences between lil ole Binghamton University and its Big Ten peers. Bleed green!

10. Tailgates — If you see people drinking outside and dancing on roofs in Binghamton, they’re probably your colorful local neighbors, not a bunch of school-spirited undergrads looking to have a good time. What would we even tailgate for, Newing Navy? Tailgates are outdoor parties with alcohol and barbecue that students go to in order to pre-game whatever big game they’re going to nap during instead of attending. Houses have big beautiful backyards tailored for these events, which happen several times per month. Students stand outside, laughing, drinking and soaking up Vitamin D while we remain in our beds, waiting until Bar Crawl for Mr. Sun to remember we exist.

9. Food choices — Should I get Einstein’s or … Einstein’s? Unless you have a car and dem billz to spend on a real meal, food is limited in Binghamton. Our choices are far apart, and there are lots of restaurants as opposed to cheap, greasy, delicious joints (unless it’s a going out night and you’re roaming State and Washington Streets). At Big Ten schools, you are usually within walking distance of plenty of food options available for the college student budget. Food Court, we patiently await your arrival!

8. Parent and alumni participation — A huge thing at Big Ten schools is the involvement of alumni and parents. There are dads barbecuing and serving students food at all the tailgates. And if that isn’t enough alumni for you, you can see how involved past graduates are in the schools’ well-being by the names of all the buildings, wings and centers. Glenn G. Bartle Library was named after our first University president, and does anyone even know what the deal is with Anderson and Couper? We don’t really have too many benefactors, unless Science IV is actually a name.

7. Activism — As much as we appreciate the seven people standing in the center of campus reminding us that North Korea is a dictatorship, we pale in comparison to how much activism there is at Big Ten schools. Maybe we should get on our protest grind and get some parking better than M Lot.

6. Friend visitation — When you have a friend visiting in Binghamton, your entire clique knows about it for weeks in advance. They wait for his or her arrival and, by the end, you are exhausted only because you had to make sure he or she didn’t wander off in a drunken stupor Downtown. Big Ten schools have a million visitors a minute — they are like the eighth through twentieth wonders of the world for undergrads. When you visit a Big Ten school, you know exactly what to expect. You’re going to be really exhausted from driving too long and getting lost, you’re going to eat Chipotle and then drink gross beer at a crowded party, wake up too early to drink more gross beer at an outdoor crowded party, nap and then pretend you want to go out when your friend, who does this every weekend, starts getting ready. Friends who visit Binghamton are usually happily surprised at how much fun they have. And then when the snobbishness of their own schools overwhelms them, they make the happiest decision of their lives to transfer here.

5. Campus presentation — BU’s campus is strewn with construction and dreams of tomorrow, making it hard to compare the appearance of our campus to the beauty of the universities of Maryland, Illinois, Indiana and others. But plans for a more beautiful campus are more than just pipe dreams. New Dickinson has already proved itself an undergraduate paradise. I have beautiful dreams of all the wonders that the Food Court will hold, including Red Mango! Our construction is but a facade for all the wonderful things to come.

4. Greek Row — Did you guys know that not all Greek life houses are neighbored by halfway houses and stranger danger? Big Ten schools have beautiful blocks dedicated solely to the safe and luxurious living of sorority and fraternity stars. The names of the organizations are written in big professional block letters on the houses so you can identify them, instead of the not-so-subtle graffiti you see sprayed on the houses in Binghamton, or the pictures in The New York Times identifying where all the hazing took place. We get it, Big Ten frat stars, you’re really rich and have chefs! But there is something very proper and 1900s Southern Belle about that setup. The grunge of Binghamton Greek life breeds a lot more freedom.

3. School clothing — Visiting a friend at Penn State but have no appropriate garb for the tailgate? Don’t worry, your friend probably has about 8,000 different shirts and sweatshirts for you. At Binghamton, though, most people probably have only one or two school-spirited pieces of clothing. Come on, Bookstore, we’re from Long Island, Westchester and Brooklyn — we have too much style to buy the fuchsia BU sweatshirt on the sale rack! And this is also a SUNY school. If Daddy had $40 for a T-shirt, I’d be at Duke.

2. Smart people — There are, of course, smart people everywhere. However, you see a lot less of them on a regular basis at the Big Ten (Northwestern is exempt). You know how everyone pretended house music was cool but that’s probably because they were on Molly? That’s kind of like what the masses at Big Ten schools are like. When the alcohol wears off, you deeply question your surroundings and decisions. These kids speak their own language of douchiness, and you might leave the school concerned for their real world prospects.

1. Police intervention — Have you ever been at a big party in Binghamton where there was suddenly an alert that cops were on the premises? And then five minutes later the party’s back on? I’m not sure what magical conversation transpires between the Binghamton police and a probably drunk host serving alcohol to mostly underage people, but Big Ten schools have a lot to learn. It’s not uncommon to move from place to place during a night because the police break up a party. Ten points for Binghamton!