Have you seen Jane lately? No. She’s probably with John. She’s always with John. She is John.

Now that spring is rearing its flowery head, couples will be strolling outside being all lovey-dovey, gracing the public with their gloating presence. And that’s fine — couples basking in the sun are not a problem. The nuisance is spotting those couples who are constantly attached at the hip.

There are always a handful of friends who, after winning a boyfriend or a girlfriend, disappear from my life. It’s as if they never existed. They become so consumed in their bubble with their significant other that they forget to live for themselves. They forget they’re not one person, a strange JaneJohn mash-up, but two separate entities.

These couples are the types who, if I ask to see one to speak about a private matter, show up together. If I want to tell one of them something, both of them end up knowing.

This could be convenient if I knew both of them, but because that’s usually not the case, it’s a pain in the ass.

It’s not just that those couples are around each other every second of the day; their actions toward one another can be degrading for their sex.

It’s disgusting to see a friend — of either sex — doing laundry and cooking for their significant other when it’s a one-sided practice. It’s reasonable when it’s reciprocal, but I’ve come across girls who continuously cater to their boyfriends, even while their boyfriends are off lollygagging somewhere else.

I can sympathize in some ways because for some of us, it’s part of our culture to spoil the man; however, at the same time, we don’t have to stick to those traditional ways anymore. It isn’t necessary to do laundry for the boyfriend when he can do it himself. For the love of God, he has hands, right?

Also, sleeping — just sleeping — with a beau, occasionally, is one thing, but having sleepovers every night in a shared dorm room is another. It’s inconsiderate when there’s a roommate who wants the room to himself, or wants to share the room only with their assigned person, not two people. I wouldn’t be surprised if those roommates seek retribution.

This commentary doesn’t only apply to women; men in relationships are included, too. Women can become arrogant and unappreciative when they get everything handed to them all the time. If men constantly indulge women, women will expect more and expect better; ultimately, they may become spoiled brats.

These couples lose more than friends when they ignore the existence of everyone except each other — they forget they’re attending college and lose the whole experience of being a student. Their grades falter and their social life goes down the drain because they’re so focused on being with and pleasing their lover.

The point of college is to get an education and gain as much experience as possible, not to throw one’s life away over a current infatuation.

Even though it’s always John and Jane or Jane and John, individuals should learn to become independent before they depend on others.