After two particularly difficult hours of trying to understand the economic developments of countries I cannot locate on a map, my stomach began to make noises comparable to that of a bearcat. As I trudged along in the pouring rain, tempted to break out the dance routine to ‘Singin’ in the Rain,’ I started to construct the perfect sandwich in my mind.

Two slices of rye bread, ham, turkey, tomatoes, onions, two slices of American cheese and some sort of sauce was in order ‘ most likely honey mustard. I walked toward the sandwich stand in a pace considered too fast for the indoors. After providing the recipe I had conjured up as raindrops were falling on my head to the sandwich lady, I headed over to the soda machine station where I can appreciate the pleasant quenching of my thirst with a diluted Coke. I received my sandwich and made my way to the long line formed at the only open cash register. Finding myself in a precarious position of standing while holding a sandwich on a flimsy paper plate and a cup filled the brim with soda and no cap, I began to look around. That’s when the eminent glow of the Vitamin Water machine caught me by the retinas.

I looked up and down the shelves and saw they had my favorite flavor, the acai-blueberry-pomegranate flavored ‘XXX,’ beloved because of its triple antioxidants. Bewildered by the fact that the dining hall would have something I would actually enjoy, my entire reality crumbled and I moved to Canada.

To be honest, I have no idea if Vitamin Water is good for you. I drink it because it doesn’t taste like chemicals used in dishwasher liquid or feel like hydrochloric acid in my mouth. So I did a little research to see if Vitamin Water actually achieved the impossible of tasting great AND being good for you. After reading several Wikipedia entries, the Glac√É©au official Web site and an instant message from a friend documenting all the unspeakable acts he’ll do to Barbara Walters, I had some information. Each Vitamin Water flavor consists of different combinations such as Vitamin A and Zinc, or Vitamin C and EGCG. With everything from electrolytes to antioxidants, the waters certainly add some much needed nutrients into your system you probably would not get anywhere else in your diet of Domino’s pizza and Wegmans-brand pretzels.

However, I learned my favorite XXX drink has less than 1 percent of natural juice. Also, all Vitamin Water contains crystalline fructose as a sweetener and recent studies show that elevated levels of it in your body for a long time may cause liver problems (just like the multiple keg stands you did last weekend).

The sudden availability of Glac√É©au Vitamin Water on campus, however awesome it may be, did not come about because the University thought they would provide a healthier alternative to those awful Vault drinks, but because Glac√É©au was sold to Coca-Cola for $4.2 billion. Guess who our lovely Binghamton University signed a contract with?

If you guessed Coca-Cola, go buy a Vitamin Water, you deserve it.

The Coca-Cola takeover of Glac√É©au and 50 Cent’s involvement with the brand have me worried about the commercialization of a great drink. Soon we might have Vitamin Water with lime, diet Vitamin Water or maybe even free Vitamin Water with the purchase of 50 Cent’s new album.

For now, I find myself hooked on Vitamin Water as if it were crack ‘ except it’s good for you. Well, good for you until you have liver failure, but hey, who needs a liver? What? I do? Hence the name? Shut up, Fiddy.