Heartbreak is a universal experience. But processing it is one of the hardest challenges to overcome — and as I face this experience, I want to reflect on what it feels like.

First of all, it is easier to move on when a relationship ends in anger. In those cases, there is no place left in your heart for the love that once was, only for the cold betrayal or burning acceptance of realizing that the person you were with isn’t who you thought they were.

But, in my case, it wasn’t like this. Instead, it felt like a push and a pull between what was best for us. There seemed to be no clear answer, and in the face of uncertainty, there were far too many “what-ifs.”

This type of heartbreak is a battle between comfort and the prospect of a less conflictual relationship. Sometimes, there is a possibility that you’re holding each other back because you don’t want to let go of the other person. It starts as a small doubt in your head: the thought that a healthy relationship shouldn’t feel the way your current relationship feels. Then, it grows into resentment that bubbles into anger every time you’re reminded of their poor actions.

But when lack of improvement is evident, it is best to find the strength within oneself to leave. Staying too long is a recipe for self-doubt, loathing and utter sadness. Starting the dreadful process of heartbreak sooner leads to a fully healed and rejuvenated version of oneself more quickly.

After it ends, you have to change your entire daily routine just to not think of them, and it can feel like you’ve completely rewired who you are. This process is not easy, and it definitely isn’t quick.

But let me stress this next part: there is no going back after things end. The decision has been made, and distance is necessary to grow into a better person.

The despair that accompanies the decision to leave stems from the idea that the heartbreak could have been prevented. You think, in an alternate universe, you could have been happy forever with this person. You can’t help but think back to the good times and wish that the timeline didn’t have to end so soon.

But, you have to remind yourself that when communication between two people turns into a battle of their own stories, rather than addressing the feelings and emotions of the other, it’s no longer worth it.

Another aspect of heartbreak comes from the constant overthinking. You will wake up feeling a heaviness in your heart and a pit in your stomach. You will get ready and pretend like it isn’t there. You will go about your day, doing what you need to do and convince yourself, for the umpteenth time, that this is what is best for you.

In some instances, it may even feel like the hand of heartbreak has loosened its deathly grip on your heart, even if just for a moment. Make sure to close your eyes and really appreciate these moments when it feels like the world is spinning once again. You will go to bed, maybe somewhat satisfied but still a little sad. You will do this process over and over again until the day that you wake up and your chest doesn’t feel as heavy as before.

In the unfortunate case where jealousy is involved, my one piece of advice is to simply not look at their new life. After all, how could you expect to feed positivity into your new life when you are still stuck in your old one?

Don’t search them up on social media. Don’t expect comfort from them anymore. Most importantly, don’t compare yourself to their new partner. Ignorance really is bliss in this case, and what they are doing is no longer your concern, no matter how much you wish it were.

Most of all, in the difficult times of heartbreak, remember the people closest to you. Remember that there is more love out there for you, and that there is always more work to do on your own mind and your own soul.

It is hard to deal with feelings of inadequacy and longing, and it’s even harder to deal with loneliness, but take all the time that you need to heal — don’t rush it. We are humans, and it is beautiful that we get to love so strongly at all.

Unfortunately, we hurt to a degree equivalent to the love we experienced. While you wait for the day that the love you find stays unwavering throughout the years, embrace the times that you do get to feel such an emotion and remember that there is so much love around you, even if it isn’t in the form of a relationship.

Love takes the form of friends who support you, pets that depend on you, professors who are proud of you, family who listens to you and most of all, your own resilience to continue to feed your own ambitions and goals in life.

Heartbreak, if it’s good for anything, can remind us of this kind of love, which we too often take for granted, and of the ability we have to continue to evolve.

Myah Meunier is a freshman majoring in English. 

Views expressed in the opinions pages represent the opinions of the columnists. The only piece that represents the view of the Pipe Dream Editorial Board is the staff editorial.