Growing up with anxiety, I would often have nightmares that would make me wake up screaming. One night, I would be chased by a T. rex in my school lobby, and the next, I’d be tied to train tracks by a vampire. But out of all of them, the one that terrified me most was the one where I was being left behind.

It would start with a family vacation. I walked hand in hand with my mother through the airport. As we got further along the path, I noticed the silence around me. I would turn my head, and my dad and sister would be gone. My mom would squeeze my hand tighter and say, “Stay with me.” We’d reach the gate where she would let go and say, “Wait here.” Just like that, I was alone.

At the time, the nightmares felt like a curse. But as I grew older, I realized that they were a lesson on how to deal with solitude, and they prepared me for an unexpected kind: one shaped by social media. In a time when social media feeds our craving for validation, solitude is a form of resistance. It allows us to regain our attention, way of thinking and sense of self.

It may feel like every new follower is a new friend — a person who will like our posts, swipe up on stories or maybe even comment “too cute” on our photo dumps. A 2025 article by Perspect Public Health states that “the neurobiological basis involves small doses of dopamine released with each scrolling motion, coupled with variable reward schedules, which can lead to tolerance development.” It’s a cycle built to keep consumers hooked, but in return drives us away from connection.

Studies also show that social media increases feelings of loneliness. A 2023 study from Health Psychology and Behavioral Medicine found that “more time spent digesting other people’s happiness on social media may accelerate one’s own feelings of loneliness and distress.” This feeling of loneliness, combined with constantly being fed people living their “best lives,” might be leading to a new era of codependency. Instead of going places for fun, we search for our newest post. Most of what we do on social media is for someone else to look at.

I’m guilty of the same problem (yes, I am still proud of my Instagram layout). But realizing this was my first step in reclaiming solitude. I started my sophomore year of high school with daily walks around my neighborhood for around one hour each. I put on my headphones and lost myself in whatever emotion was most prominent. I noticed that as I did this, I started to feel better in every sense of the word. Not only was I technically getting my cardio in, but I was also connecting with myself. I came to understand my emotions better and, by extension, every aspect of myself.

Since then, my idea of what I can do alone has vastly broadened. I work at a summer sleepaway camp. On my last day off, I was driven to a super mall, where I spent the next eight hours by myself. It was intense at times, sure, but by the end of the day I was more relaxed than I had been all summer.

The solution to our problems isn’t to get outside more, but to get outside with ourselves more. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by the pressures of digital validation, take a moment to yourself and evaluate the benefits of alone time without a screen. It’s a chance to escape the expectations your feed sets for you, from what to buy to where you go. You always have the option to decide those things for yourself, and those choices are what make you unique.

In that sense, solitude does not necessarily mean isolation. It means taking a moment to decide what you are like when you are truly on your own. You can feel all your unfiltered emotions and think all the unfiltered thoughts. It’s a time to reflect and ask: What do I truly want without the influence of others? There is so much of ourselves that gets buried under the weight of comparison.

We as a society need to stop seeing loneliness as a punishment, and start seeing it as a privilege in a world that constantly demands attention. Choosing yourself and stepping back from everything takes courage, but it’s also the key to a life you can authentically call yours. I implore you to truly look in and ask, when was the last time you had the space to just exist?

Rae Emhoff is a freshman majoring in English.

Views expressed in the opinions pages represent the opinions of the columnists. The only piece that represents the view of the Pipe Dream Editorial Board is the Staff Editorial.