March is a big month. It may not seem that way, but it does have 31 days.
In the first installment of this three-part series, titled “Madness in March” (always trying to avoid copyright infringement), we’re going to figure out which March event reigns supreme. For time and space purposes, we’re going to examine eight different events, broken up into four different categories: entertainment, holiday, our favorite days and miscellaneous.
It’s not fair. It’s certainly biased. There is no rubric for judgment, save for the right side of my brain. I hope you’ve finalized your office pools. Let’s dig in.
ENTERTAINMENT – ”Mad Men” vs. “The Hunger Games”
On March 23, the film adaptation of the pop culture phenomenon “The Hunger Games” hits the big screen. Two days later, four-time Emmy winner “Mad Men” kicks off its fifth season after a nearly two-year hiatus.
It’s a classic eighth-seed/nineth-seed matchup, a total toss-up. Who wins, the story of a dystopian future or the saga of a melancholy past? Let’s break it down.
First, let’s examine pop culture impact. “The Hunger Games” has taken our yet-to-be scorched Earth by storm. The mockingjay isn’t a real bird — yet — but I bet more people could identify it than the state bird of New York.
Hint: It isn’t the mockingjay.
“Mad Men” doesn’t boast the sheer number of fans as “The Hunger Games” does, but that isn’t to say the boys and girls of Sterling Cooper Draper Price have had a smaller impact on society than the 24 tributes of the 74th Hunger Games.
If we look at the raw quality of each, which is ultimately the determinant factor, the edge goes to “Mad Men.” It is a wonderfully crafted television program (I’m not as douchey as that sentence sounds), and while conceptually “Hunger Games” carries its weight, Suzanne Collins doesn’t pull off her story quite like “Mad Men” creator Matthew Weiner pulls off his.
While I’m optimistic that the movie is going to be a spectacle, trumping the book whence it came, “Mad Men” has unparalleled depth in its characters and tells stories worth investing in.
Plus, Katniss Everdeen is a bitch.
In the battle of past versus future, small screen versus silver screen, and an adaptation that took almost four years versus a hiatus that lasted almost two, Madison Avenue is left standing, while Panem is reduced to rubble.
HOLIDAY – St. Patrick’s Day vs. Purim
Bracketologist Jake Becker already broke these two down in the last issue of Pipe Dream, but let’s re-examine.
Both of these holidays want you to get drunk. Purim wants you to get so plastered that you can’t differentiate your friends from your enemies. St. Patrick wants you to get so plastered that everyone becomes your enemy. It’s hard to give one the edge over the other.
When we delve further into each holiday and how each are celebrated here in Binghamton, we’re left with St. Patrick’s Parade Day and the annual Purim Carnival. What does each entail?
For the former, we dress in green, march drunkenly down a street and feast on Irish delicacies. As for the latter, we dress in costumes, stay relatively put in the Events Center and chow down on hamantaschen.
Different strokes for different folks, but each has its redeeming qualities.
In the end, it comes down to one mitigating factor: demographics. Although Parade Day is an extravaganza we wait for all year long, and the Purim Carnival is just a blip on the radar for many, how many of us should really be celebrating St. Patty’s Day, and how many of us should really be celebrating Purim?
In shorthand: we Jews here are a’plenty. By sheer number and firepower alone on the Binghamton University campus, Purim takes this one and advances onward.
“Mad Men” and Purim will meet in the Phinal Phour (always trying to avoid copyright infringement) on March 23. Check back next week to see who will join them from the other two categories.
March onward.