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As someone who just started up on a health kick a mere seven days ago, I feel completely confident to leap onto my pedestal and give you some masterful advice on living a wholesome lifestyle.

Earthy is in. So you’re not only healthier when you start eating “natural” and “organic” foods, but you’re cooler, too. Don’t take it too far though; there’s a fine line between being “The Earthy One” and “The Dirty One.”

When you leave the grocery store, check your cart. Make sure not every item rhymes with “schmegtable.” You need a little wiggle room. You’re going healthy, not crazy. It’s all about taking small steps.

You should be happy at the grocery store. You’re not studying, you’re shopping!

And you’re not even shopping for clothes. That’s right, nobody will ask you if those jeans make you look fat. Nobody looks fat buying vegetables.

But what else can you buy besides vegetables? Are you allowed snacks? Sure. In fact, there are a lot of delicious and fairly healthy options. One of my personal favorites is fresh salsa. It contains low amounts of sodium, which means less retention of water, and less retention of water means that those jeans won’t make you look fat.

High amounts of sodium are related to many health problems, including hypertension, so it’s best to stay away from a lot of packaged foods. That’s right, Campbell’s will warm your heart right up to the boiling point.

As far as other snacks go, I would suggest the health section in Wegmans. It has plenty of choices and many are just variations on your favorites.

Eat blue corn chips instead of Doritos. Have rice cakes instead of cereal bars. You can have cookies instead of, I mean … just have your cookies. There’s no reason you have to cut your favorite foods out of your diet. Just remember that moderation is key.

Now, please excuse me while I do a back flip off my pedestal and take a few laps. Yep, every healthy lifestyle incorporates some exercise. But still, start small.

Do you know that friend who runs triathlons? Stay away from him at the moment. You don’t want to be intimidated when you start out, or ever.

Exercise is about personal goals. When you go to the gym, don’t look around to see what other people can lift or the speed at which they can run. Focus on yourself.

If the pressure is still too high, you can excuse yourself from the gym. No, that’s not an invitation to call World of Warcraft a sport, but rather a suggestion to exercise outside those four walls. The more you dislike the activity you’re doing, the less likely you are to do it. Just do whatever makes you happy.

Every time you work out, you might want to jot down or take a mental note of how you did. Try to make even the smallest improvements for next time. It’ll remind you of how well you’re doing, in case your mirror isn’t already telling you.

Lastly, a key element in a healthy lifestyle, and something most college kids only fantasize about, is a good night’s sleep. It’s a zero-calorie activity, and you don’t have to lift a finger. Get eight hours. Just do it. If homework prevents you, put the pencil down and just avoid it. After all, we’re talking about your health.