Love is confusing, but science may hold some of the answers.
Matthew Johnson, an associate professor of psychology and director of Binghamton University’s Marriage and Family Studies Laboratory, presented findings on romantic relationships yesterday evening in the Dickinson fireplace lounge of the Chenango Champlain Collegiate Center (C4).
Johnson’s presentation, titled “25 empirical results about relationships in 50 minutes,” covered the major developmental stages of relationships, from attraction to marriage.
Johnson said that people enter into intimate relationships to “rapidly expand” themselves.
“We always want to know more and do more,” Johnson said. “One of the best ways to do this is to get into a new relationship. Their interests become yours, and their hopes become your hopes. You’re basically doubling yourself.”
When it comes to choosing a partner, research shows that people are most attracted to those who are most like themselves, according to Johnson. The “phantom other technique,” an experiment in which participants are given options of people to date — with one who holds their exact personality traits — shows that opposites do not attract.
“We take your personality and reverse it, stick it on a different gender,” he explained. “Guess who people want to be with? It turns out, I’m most attracted to me.”
Another factor that affects attraction is “misattribution of arousal.” When two people are put in a scary situation, it will trigger their fear response and raise adrenaline levels.
“You will mistake fear for arousal, and misattribute that feeling to the person you are with,” Johnson explained. “So if you really want a girl to like you, take her to an amusement park and on a roller coaster ride.”
As for couples on the path to marriage, Johnson said moving in together before tying the knot is harmful to relationships. He calls it “sliding versus deciding.”
“Premature cohabitation leads to lower marital satisfaction and higher rates of divorce,” Johnson said. “Marriage is making a real commitment, whereas if you are living with someone you may just eventually slide into the marriage because it is convenient.”
Johnson also discussed the effects of conflict on marriage, citing research that examined the levels of adrenaline in arguing newlyweds. The study showed that low levels of adrenaline during conflict indicated marriage stability over the years, where a high level indicated divorce.
“If you feel a lot of adrenaline during conflict [with your partner], trust your body,” Johnson advised. “That’s a sign that something’s wrong.”
If something is wrong in your current relationship, there’s something to look forward to, according to Johnson — old age.
“Older folks rank their relationships as more satisfying,” Johnson explained. “They have fewer affairs and lots of sex.”
After viewing the presentation, Joseph Carter, an undeclared freshman, said that he would take Johnson’s class.
“I don’t necessarily agree with all of the findings, but I liked that the data is there for us to make our own judgments,” Carter said.
Miriam Geiger, also an undeclared freshman, said she enjoyed the presentation.
“It was very interesting getting to hear all of those statistics,” Geiger said. “It gave me a lot more perspective and insight into relationships.”