The Godfather, Mitch Martin, once said that true love is hard to find. I couldn’t agree with him more.

It is incredibly hard to find true love, and most of the time our crushes and flings, and even our meaningful long-term relationships, will come to an end, with either one or both of the participants deciding that things should stop. But just because we have to go through a breakup doesn’t mean we should start crying and hitting the Ben & Jerry’s (or the Jack Daniels, if you’re like some of my friends). There are many ways that will, at best, leave you and your ex as friends, and an equal number that will end with one of you hating the other.

Hopefully, you are aiming for the less painful option.

The first thing to think about when breaking up with someone is the reason why you want to end the relationship. Whatever your reason(s) may be, you have to make sure that you understand and are comfortable with it.

Then, you have to figure out how to break the news. This requires some most delicacy.

First off, digital breakups Are. Not. Cool. One of my best friends broke up with a girl via text message, and she still hates him two years later. Whether it’s because you want to spare yourself and your soon-to-be ex the pain and awkwardness of speaking face to face, or because you don’t quite have the cojones, you’re still going to have to grow some and deal.

Talk about your reasons for wanting to leave, and explain that you don’t want to hurt the person — unless you do, in which case, lie. Hopefully they’ll feel the same way and not resent you for it. At the very least, you will have been honest with them.

So that’s it, right? You’ve said your piece and you two can go back to the way things were before you went out. Right? WRONG.

It is this jaded and world-weary writers’ opinion that you should cut all ties immediately. No Facebooking, no meeting for lunch/coffee and, most importantly, NO TEXTING! Keeping in touch with the person so soon after the breakup and pretending nothing has happened will only serve to cause one or both of you pain, and can lead to some sticky (no pun intended) situations (OK, so pun intended, but I’m also making a serious point).

The sooner you can get the person out of your head, and the sooner they can get you out of theirs, the sooner you can both get on with your lives and have new, healthy relationships.

My dear friend Alexander Graham Bell put it best: “When one door closes, another opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”