A day of bra shopping leaves one customer pleasantly surprised and the other with the bitter taste of dissatisfaction. As my DSC (designated shopping companion) and I approach our personal nirvana of all that is pink and sexy, my girls Heidi, Adriana and Alessandra welcome us with great reception. When left alone in the dressing room to model the new Very Sexy line, I cannot help but feel like the Peter Parker in the world of lingerie. On the exterior, I am just your average college student going about another humdrum day. Yet, beneath this clever facade, I have embodied Adriana Lima’s inhumanly astounding demeanor. So is this the secret Victoria has kept under wraps all these years?
A knock on the door quickly interrupts my supermodel fantasy. I expose my secret identity in order to dish and receive the hard-hitting truth from my trusted sidekick. The salesgirl decides to make her way from the folding station to give us her professional advice on the matter. With a shake of her head and a flick of the wrist, she whips out the tape and begins to measure our very sexy bust lines. Through her highly glossed lips, she informs us that we have been wearing the wrong size along with 85 percent of the female population. Just as my inordinate confidence begins to seep out of my less-than-supermodel body, she advises me to shop for the size above the one I have been wearing for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, my DSC was not as thrilled to hear the verdict about her own concealed weapons of mass destruction. The salesgirl immediately transforms into her arch nemesis when she tells my DSC that she has overestimated the size of those bad boys. So why is it that well over half of women continue to purchase a bra of the wrong size?
As I make my way past the vomit-inducing sea of Valentine’s themed lingerie, Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” conveniently plays in the background. Now that the holiday dreaded by single ladies everywhere is less than a week away, one cannot avoid speculating why she is left without a man during the rough days ahead. Perhaps we are unconsciously making the same mistakes in the love department as we do when shopping in the lingerie department.
Now that I have rectified one of these conundrums, I vow to improve upon the more complicated of the two. Similar to finding the perfect bra, a guy should provide the right amount of support and lift when necessary. He should minister the comfort that will always put your mind at ease while exuding the sexiness that will heighten your libido to levels you never thought possible. Whether wishing we had Scarlett Johansson’s Grade A boobs or the affection of the nonexistent guy next door, it is merely human nature to walk through life searching for the unattainable. Yet when it comes down to it, the secret is all about finding the perfect fit.