It’s that time of year again.

As we edge closer to the end of the semester, midterm exams and papers become increasingly abundant and heavy, and you might feel like this burden is never going to be relieved. You’re probably right about that.

I am short of uplifting words, but I can offer a new perspective that might or might not make everyone feel better about their workload.

In the midst of our president winning the Nobel Peace Prize, the continuing conflict in the Middle East and the spread of the swine flu, I am far too busy with college work to be concerned with anything else but my grades.

Everyone has had that one teacher in high school that gave insane amounts of work because it was “preparation for college.” Mine was a history teacher, who strangely resembled Hagrid from Harry Potter fame, and he was notorious for giving out tests that were comparable to an 18-foot rod being shoved up the wazoo. It was that bad. But he did offer one piece of advice that stuck me with all these years, and I will share it with you all.

Before giving out the tests, he would sarcastically advise us, with that devilish smirk on his face, to “relax and don’t worry, this is only your futures.”

Well, here I am, in the second year of my college career and that man’s words still haunt me before an exam is given out. I’ve come to realize that, you know, college is pretty substantial. As annoying as it is, it is necessary for a comfortable living, unless you can play a high-profile sport, sing or act, none of which I can do extraordinarily well. So, regretfully, I will have to stay in college, if only to get that piece of paper that tells me I am a bachelor.

I can’t help but feel discouraged that most of my life was spent sitting in a classroom, learning to learn, or whatever it is that college advertisements are saying nowadays. I bet after Binghamton, many people want to continue their education because it’s statistically proven that there’s a correlation between years in school and salary. Well, given the fact that that’s true, I might just be interested in obtaining every single degree that the world has to offer — a modern day Renaissance man.

The world is not ready for a neurosurgeon who can discuss ethical philosophy, sculpting in Western Africa and the influences of the Hellenistic civilizations, all while serving as a justice in a pretty hefty Supreme Court ruling concerning fishing along the Atlantic Coast.

School isn’t easy. That’s why it’s so important to have stress relievers, so that we all don’t implode from all the useless information we know. Some people chew gum. Some people drink. Some people smoke. Some people have sex. Some people write ridiculous articles in Pipe Dream an hour before the deadline. And some people, like me, do all of the above. Not proudly, but with shame.

When life gets hard, just do what I do and remember that the Mayans said that the world is going to end in 2012 anyway. And if Mayans were as good at making predictions as they were at making corn, I’d say they were onto something.

Enjoy your day!