Around last winter break, I was working out at a very popular, overpriced gym near my home in the suburbs of New York City.

I wanted to use the leg press, but a man decided it was more critical that he use it as a stretching device, rather than use the mats or actual stretching devices in the, ahem, stretching area. I waited impatiently, and tapped my foot obnoxiously, and gave him my best evil gaze, in my valiant actress attempt to make him feel both guilty for interrupting my circuit in the Circuit Training Section, and stupid for using equipment that says “leg press” to address his flexibility issues.

I gave up eventually, and walked away, stamping a big ol’ judgment on him: illiterate (the sign says: FOR CIRCUIT TRAINING ONLY, the other sign says LEG PRESS), unknowledgeable of gym equipment and unable to take human signals of ferocity and power (ie: my evil stare-down).

However, at this overpriced gym for people in the New York state area, fitness trainers, when not busy pumping hefty loads of steel or making overweight housewives feel incompetent as they haul their ways through personal training evaluations, go up to members using equipment incorrectly and tell them not to do so. Failure to comply with any gym’s rules a multitude of times, I assume, results in a dramatic expulsion from the gym, where everyone stares at you as you are exiled to a lifetime of Tae Bo videotapes from 1999 in your living room.

Had I been a member of the gym I currently belong to and an employee of this universal fitness dynamo had chosen to approach either me or the stretching man and exiled one of us, it would have been me. Why? Because it’s the “Judgement Free Zone,” and I was guilty of judging.

Now, I think it’s admirable to encourage a gym atmosphere free of judgment, because who wants to feel like someone’s watching and labeling them while they sweat away on the elliptical trainer? (Except those who enjoy when their ever-changing objects of affection notice they are in good shape and that they may have belly button rings).

But, I have to admit — and call me a horrible person — I don’t know how not to judge. And I’m not alone in that regard.

In fact, whether humans know it or not, every glance we give to someone is subconsciously laden with judgment. “She’s in good shape.” “He must be in a frat.” “I bet that’s a local, not a Binghamton student.” “Sweet beard!” (Seriously.) And some of these judgments, unlike my harsh ones to Stretching Man, aren’t negative, or even positive — some are purely neutral. What this fitness empire should say, is that it’s not devoid of judgment, but free of hostility, negative stare-downs, and silent weight lifting contests (you’ve seen it before — one guy stands there lifting and the other guy casually eyes him to see that he’s lifting 200 pounds, so the other guy lifts 201 …)

If I got a cookie for every time I accidentally passed a judgment in my head, not only would I be morbidly obese, but I would be unable to prevent the impending heart disease because I would have been exiled from the gym a long time ago.

But had Stretching Man been at this judgment-free gym, would it have been acceptable to tell him that it’s not cool to stretch on weight equipment? Is that judging? Am I now judging myself and my own behavior? How many cookies do I get for that? Can they be raw cookie dough instead? And I don’t care if you judge me for my choice of junk food (it’s a little clich√É.√©), because you wouldn’t be human if some thought with a opinion didn’t occasionally cross your mind.

And I will gladly share my cookie dough with you, Stretching Man, and anyone else who cares to partake.