‘I’m standing here tonight on this stage because I got an education. If I hadn’t had the education, I wouldn’t be standing on this stage. I might be picking lettuce.’

‘ Mike Huckabee, overheard asking Tancredo if picking lettuce is something Americans still do for themselves.

‘I’ve presided over great expansion of government, the latest being in the SCHIP, which was going to be paid for supposedly with a dollar a pack increase in the tax on a pack of cigarettes. So we’re going to help children with their health insurance and hope that they continue to smoke.’

‘ John McCain, encouraging our nation’s tobacco smokers to do their part to save the children.

‘Every time I listen to someone like John Edwards get on TV and say there are two Americans [sic], I just want to ‘ I just want to throw something at the TV.’

‘ Mitt Romney, obviously jealous that Edwards’ hair looks better than his own.

‘Well, first, I’ve got to inform Jay that, as a guy who got his first hunting license at the age of 10 and really believes in the right to keep and bear arms, and used them in the military as my son did in Fallujah, you should never throw a gun to a person.’

‘ Duncan Hunter, who will be teaching Gun-Throwing Safety 101 to be offered next semester.

‘I own a couple of guns, but I’m not going to tell you what they are or where they are.’

‘ Fred Thompson, hinting at the consequences of not voting for him.

‘I’ve got an old 20-gauge L.C. Smith. It’s just like the gun that my dad used to carry when I would walk behind him as a nine-year-old kid and pick up the shells when he was hunting quail.’

‘ Duncan Hunter, revealing the source of his sensitive side.

‘I have to tell you, so far it’s been wonderful ‘ (laughter) ‘ because ‘ because all I’ve heard is ‘ is ‘ is people trying to ‘Tancredo Tancredo.’

‘ Tom Tancredo, not realizing that he may have Tancredoed his way into political obscurity with comments like that.

‘We had 5,000 people show up and rally in front of the Independence Hall with Blacks and Hispanics and a cross-section of this country.’

‘ Ron Paul, reminding us that he is willing to be seen in front of Independence Hall with Blacks and Hispanics.

‘Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office, Anderson. That’s what Jesus would do.’√ù

‘ Mike Huckabee, explaining the misinterpretation of a previous remark that he could have beaten Jesus in the Roman Senate elections of 20 A.D.

‘So, yes, I believe it. I think it’s the greatest book ever written. I read it frequently. I read it very frequently when I’ve gone through the bigger crises in my life, and I find great wisdom in it. And it does define, to a very large extent, my faith.’

‘ Rudy Giuliani, always ready to share an inspirational quote from the New Testament. Specifically from the book of September, chapter 9, verse 11.

‘I will never apologize for the United States of America.’

‘ Duncan Hunter, who in a moment of weakness, did apologize for Roseanne Barr and the explosion of reality television.

‘Now whether we need to send somebody to Mars, I don’t know, but I’ll tell you what, if we do, I’ve got a few suggestions and maybe Hillary could be on the first rocket to Mars.’

‘ Mike Huckabee on why he has renounced his membership in the ‘Hillary Clinton for President’ Facebook group.