“Alexandra” and “Andrew” have been friends since last semester. Members of a campus religious group, they have a lot of the same friends and spend a lot of time hanging out together. Recently, the two students have started hooking up. Their names were changed by request.
Many think it’s great to have a friend with benefits. You can trust the person you’re with and avoid the getting-to-know-you part of dating as well as the awkwardness of one-night stands.
“I’m down with friends with benefits; it allows you to have fun with a friend and still be able to play the field,” Michael Solomon, a freshman, said.
Sometimes, though, like in Alexandra’s case, it’s hard to keep emotions from getting in the way.
“I’m starting to really like him,” she said. “But I don’t know what to do because Andrew doesn’t want a relationship.”
Release surveyed 50 people and over 85 percent of the Binghamton University students said they engage in casual hookups, but less than half of them actually approve of and enjoy this type of relationship. According to a seventeen.com study, 40 percent of people said that they hooked up when they really wanted a relationship to result.
In most cases, though, the hookups do not lead to a relationship.
“If the two people are comfortable with each other, it’s OK,” Michelle Kaufman, a sophomore chemistry major, said. “It’s in our nature to want to just hook up.”
Many students seem to think it depends on the situation. Both partners need to be on the same page to avoid complicated feelings and issues.
Joshua Erenfrid, a sophomore political science major, said he feels this way.
“I think it depends on the people involved in the relationship,” Erenfrid said. “But stuff like that usually ends badly if one of the two individuals wants a relationship and the other does not.”
Since lust and attraction are so natural for college-age students, casual hookups have become the norm. Of students surveyed, a majority of them estimated that less than 25 percent of their friends are in a committed relationship. About half admitted to being single and sexually active.
What’s most important, though sometimes difficult, is to stay within your personal comfort zone.
“Sometimes I end up hooking up with guys because all my friends are doing it. I don’t like to go home alone at the end of the night,” a sophomore who preferred to remain anonymous, said. “But I’ve ruined friendships this way and often end up upset in the morning.”