So you’ve been hanging out and flirting consistently with the cutie in your 10:05 a.m. lecture. Lately, you’ve been on a lot of one-on-one dates with this lecture heartthrob. Friends start getting nosy about your status and want to know if you guys are exclusive, friends with benefits, strictly friends zone, engaged, etc. At this point you realize you have no idea. It’s probably time for the potentially awkward but rewarding “DTR” — Define The Relationship talk.

What are we? We’ve all been there, the situation is a post-modern relationship clich√É.√©. College romance is filled with mixed signals. The casual nature of a laid-back hookup scene leads to some label confusion.

This discussion can seem risky because no one wants to appear clingy and scare off the other person. You can, however, avoid an awkward, and sometimes deal-breaking, confrontation by being prepared. Effective communication clears the airwaves and defines the relationship without epic drama. If you feel strongly about the person you’re dating, asking if he or she shares your feelings can be a difficult moment of truth.

Timing is everything. Waiting for the peak of your interest to come and go and then proceeding with the DTR during the downslope isn’t good timing. When you’re sort of avoiding each other, coming out randomly with questions isn’t going to get you the answers you want. It is much easier to have the DTR at the peak of your flirty rendezvous so you can expect a less committed relationship status answer. This means much less hurt. Nevertheless, the DTR is unpredictable. It is naive to think that, toward the beginning, your date’s feelings will work at the same pace as yours.

It is crucial to choose the right time and place. Opening up can be intense, so be sensitive about when and where you talk. Asking in a B-Line announcement or having a DJ at Scoreboard ask over a loudspeaker aren’t the best ideas.

Be clear and direct, yet flexible with intentions. Vague or stereotypical questions will only put your date on the spot. Whether you want to be exclusive or just friends, communicate what you want. It can be as simple as asking if your date is seeing other people. That will give you a better view of exactly what your level of commitment is to one another.

Demanding an answer will get you nowhere. Once you’ve dropped the bomb on your date, give it time and avoid debating; your date’s head is probably swamped with half-answers and conflict. Take off the pressure by letting him or her think it over.

Last but not least, you get what you ask for. Your DTR talk may not have a Hollywood ending with a passionate revelation. This is not “The Bachelor;” you do not get a rose to move on to the next round. If the message is clear, he or she may just not be that into you. There is no reason to go overboard on defining the relationship. Obsessing will not change the reality you asked for.

Remember, asking once is healthy; asking at every chance you get is being a stage-five clinger.

With these considerations, maybe you’re realizing you are rushing into taking it to the next definite level. Sometimes the relationship defines itself. It will be determined by actual events and actions, regardless of the words. You may see more clearly after giving it time to get where it’s going and, thus, take away the need for the DTR in the first place.

If you feel the need to have it defined in words and it freaks him or her out, it wasn’t going anywhere but your pants anyway. Live up your booty call and move on.

If your relationship status is in limbo, defining the relationship can take away the dirty questions. Sensitivity, direction, understanding and proper timing will allow you to reap the benefits. If your significant other in question is mature, clarifying intentions may ease your insecurities.

Fortune may favor the bold, but be aware: DTR is hit or miss.