With a whole week of beautiful weather upon us, it seems unlikely that anyone would want to stay home and watch movies. But if you do find yourself sober and alone on a Friday night — or hungover the next morning and incapable of more movement than the mindless “liking” on Facebook — here is a collection of summer-themed movies that will hopefully inspire you to get out and enjoy the nicest weather Binghamton will see before May.


Drama: “The Graduate”

“The Graduate” is so much more than a cougar tale. In fact, it’s an accurate depiction of what most of us will inevitably end up doing — though I don’t encourage sleeping with an older woman when her daughter is obviously hotter and nicer. Come graduation, we will all move back home and delay being human beings for at least the summer, and what better way to spend the summer than figuratively fucking with your parents’ expectations by literally fucking your next door neighbor’s wife? Most of the movie follows a young and dashing Dustin Hoffman as he drinks beer in the pool, ignoring the pesky question that never has a true answer: “What are you doing with the rest of your life?” Filmed in 1967, “The Graduate” remains a relatable, classic must-see if you like cougar love, sarcasm, Simon & Garfunkel, interesting cinematography and seeing your depressing future.

Comments, questions, thoughts:

If you dislike Simon & Garfunkel’s “Scarborough Fair,” be aware that it’s played at least a million times, no exaggeration. Just turn the sound down or something. Also, there are titty-tassles and tan lines — use your best judgement.

Memorable quotes:

Mr. Braddock: Ben, what are you doing?

Benjamin: Well, I would say that I’m just drifting. Here in the pool.

Mr. Braddock: Why?

Benjamin: Well, it’s very comfortable just to drift here.

Mr. Braddock: Have you thought about graduate school?

Benjamin: No.

Mr. Braddock: Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?

Benjamin: You got me.


Teen-ploitation: “Dazed and Confused”

If you’re like my roommate and have never seen “Dazed and Confused,” you’re missing out. Gone are the days of firsts — sneaking beer into the woods, your first late night, your first toke and scoring with an upperclassman when you’re still a freshman — that have the level of giddiness you hope you never forget. “Dazed and Confused” revives these past memories as well as memories you probably never had, like paddle-beating freshmen from a pick-up truck.

Comments, questions, thoughts:

Weed. Weed. Weed. Matthew McConaughey. Keg. An great movie with an awesome soundtrack, cool cars and an amazing cast.

Memorable quote:

“Wipe that face off your head, bitch.”


Horror: “Jeepers Creepers”

Though there are many good movies that take place around spring break, “Jeepers Creepers” is a different twist to the typical spring break movie, turning it into a frightening adventure. The brother and sister in “Jeepers Creepers” wear tank tops and shorts and are driving through Florida, giving the essence of a beautiful spring break — at least in the beginning. They are followed by a weird scarecrow man-demon whose presence is foreshadowed by the eerily upbeat song “Jeepers Creepers.”

Comments, questions, thoughts:

It’s creepy, not like gory “Hostel” creepy, but there are some cringe-worthy moments.

Memorable quote:

“Every 23rd Spring for 23 days it gets to … eat …”


Comedy: “Wet Hot American Summer”

Because nothing says summer like booze, tongue and string bikinis. It’s the campiest movie about camp, and it’s sad how attractive Paul Rudd is even when he plays a total dill-hole. If you’ve never been much of a camp person, you can still appreciate the festering hormones and the seemingly life-or-death view on everything, from condiments to being an “associate professor.”

Comments, questions, thoughts:

Campy humor, the fabulous ’70s, tan lines, awkward tongues, a surprisingly strange ending and Paul Rudd pretty much sums it up.

Memorable quote:

“You taste like a burger. I don’t like you anymore.”


Dance flick/love story: “Dirty Dancing”

It’s a classic. Now is your opportunity to say “no one puts Baby in a corner” without seeming like a total hipster because you’ve actually seen the movie and not just the two-minute YouTube video clip. It’s a truly great movie about a young girl who falls in love with her hot dance teacher while at a family camp-esque retreat. And it’s a story about first love, summer romance and dancing.

Comments, questions, thoughts:

There’s an abortion and salsa dancing. You have to look through the pedophilia aspect of the movie, but it’s forgivable because its Swayze. Also enjoy Jennifer Grey before her career-ending nose job.

Memorable quote:

“No one puts Baby in a corner” (there’s just no greater quote).