With the sun shining brightly over Vestal Parkway, all anyone wants to do is sit outside and enjoy the heat. Binghamton has officially entered its two-second-long span of nice weather, and students have shed their winter coats and windbreakers for crop tops and camis. While the weather begs for Frisbee on the Peace Quad or a pickup volleyball game in front of O’Connor, finals week is here just in time to sabotage the fun. This brings about the ultimate question for any style connoisseur: How can you be comfortable enough to learn macroeconomics in Glenn G. Bartle Library, while not dying of heat and still looking fabulous?
The “Bartle Bonnaroo”
Inspired by the great looks seen at music festivals, this outfit is a classic. A great fit for anyone wanting to look original, this style works best for anyone who wants to “study” outside. Whether you’ll be pretending to read Dante’s “Inferno” or your biology textbook, you’ll be comfortable as you sit on the grass waiting for people to notice how carefree and in touch with nature you are. The first step to achieving this style is finding the perfect maxi skirt. Whether it has cool tribal prints or a hi-lo cut, it should be vintage and/or from Forever 21 (nobody will know the difference). Paired with this skirt is a crop top (NOTE: The crop top must contain some edgy saying on it). Now throw on a flower wreath and you’re good to start
The “Campout Copernicus”
To achieve this look, you’ll need to put in some time and commitment. Not only will you have multiple options, you’ll be in the library for three days and start to show signs of Vitamin D deficiency. To complete this outfit, you’ll need two different pairs of pajamas: one pair of daytime casuals, and one for the night when you want to change into something more comfortable. Accessories are essential, as you’ll need to bring a blanket, a toothbrush and a pyramid of Panda III leftovers. If you’re searching to make a statement that says, “I didn’t come here to make friends, I came to get an A and alienate my neighbors,” then this is the outfit for you.
The “State Street Stylist”
Even though finals have barely started, this person is preparing for Bar Crawl more than they are preparing for their orgo test. Their face is in the books, but their head is already puking in the Tom & Marty’s bathroom. To get this look, you’ll want to channel your inner fraternity, so tank tops are a necessity. Classy shirts that say “Black out or back out” will really get you pumped to throw back cherry bombs at two in the afternoon. Still, it’s only Monday, so a pre-game in the stacks would be preemptive. To pass the time, consider bringing a pencil and one textbook as an additional accessory or, you know, you can study.
The ”I Can Have It All”
If you want to look like you have everything together, then consider this option for your finals week catwalk. Jeans and a cute top make you look like you’re a totally normal human being, just taking tests and living your life. As you mentally curse out generations of scientists and historians, you’ll look cool, calm and collected. A neatly-tied-together bun will really sell your “I’m not a raging maniac” act. Just remember, this outfit is more than just clothes, it’s an attitude. People will think, “Wow, that person really just has their life in check. Look how well they handle their final exams, they definitely aren’t on the verge of a mental breakdown.” Just remember to try and cap off your general rage with a small inquisitive frown — it will make you look relaxed and serious simultaneously.
For those who don’t like to be bothered with trivial things like showering, this look is perfect for the last week of school. No matter how clean you were all semester, you’ll get to leave your peers with memories of that one outfit you wore all five days, as well as the lingering smell of your signature odor. You won’t have to worry about being distracted by your friends, as they probably have a reserved study room that has a maximum of eight people, and they totally wish you could hang out, but hey, fire hazards. A bonus of this look: Get a head start on making dreadlocks, as your hair will naturally knot from not shampooing, conditioning or giving a shit.