As the old saying goes, a drunken mind speaks sober thoughts. If this saying holds any truth, then Parade Day must be the most honest and open day of the entire year. This year, Release took to the streets and asked students what they really think about today’s big issues.

Cece, sophomore double-majoring in Spanish and economics:

Release: Are you happy with the way JK Rowling ended “Harry Potter”?

Cece: No, because I wanted Harry to die so badly, ‘cause like, oh my God public urination, but anyway … I wanted Harry to die, because like, OK, everyone thinks like the good guy is gonna win the whole time, and he actually won the whole time, but like I wanted him, I wanted him to die, like there had to be like, some ending point.

Joe, senior majoring in health sciences at Stony Brook University:

R: How did the Super Bowl make you feel?

Joe: I loved it, the Super Bowl was fantastic because it was entertaining and I loved it, I love football, I love football, I LOVE FOOTBALL!

R: What do you think are Hillary Clinton’s chances in the 2016 election?

J: Yo Hillary Clinton, I’ve had a crush on Hillary Clinton for a very long time, so if I could marry her that would be great.

R: What about her do you find attractive?

J: I find, on a scale of one to attractive, I find her like a solid seven.

R: No, what about her do you find attractive?

J: Oh she’s very smart, she very uh … she knows what going on. That’s what she knows exactly. She knows I can’t explain it, but she knows her shit. That’s why I love Hillary Clinton. I love Hillary. Hillary 2016!

Andrew, sophomore majoring in criminal justice at Nassau Community College:

R: What is the biggest problem facing women today?

Andrew: Their periods.

Pat, sophomore majoring in biology at SUNY Oneonta:

R: What is the biggest problem facing women today?

Pat: Most of them are just like too attractive, that’s their biggest problem.

Nick, sophomore majoring in psychology & Francesco, undeclared sophomore:

R: Who do you prefer, Kim Jong-il or Kim Jong-un?

Nick: Un dude, come on.

Francesco: Why Un?

N: ‘Cause he’s the shit, I don’t know, I don’t know who he is.

Edith, freshman majoring in biology:

R: What are Hillary Clinton’s chances in the 2016 election?

Edith: I have no idea what politics means, but the fact that she’s a woman, I really hope she makes it because I want her to be the first woman president. Or I will be the first woman president.

John, freshman majoring in business:

R: How did the Super Bowl make you feel?

John: It gave me … it was kind of like blue balls. The Super Bowl gave me blue balls.

Dylan, freshman majoring in accounting:

R: Do you think Justin Bieber should be kicked out of the U.S.?

Dylan: I have no problem with him … with Justin Bieber.

R: Why?

D: ‘Cause we boys! We made it!

Keith, graduate student studying economics:

R: Why are we on Earth?

Keith: I mean what other planet is there to live on, right? There’s only like one other planet.