Nothing ruins a beautiful Binghamton day more than PDA. Public displays of affection should be left in high school. For those of you who just won’t put it away on campus, here are some simple suggestions so you can stop being disgustingly, inappropriately happy with each other:

1. Avoid the dining halls — Sodexo food will get us nauseous enough; you don’t need to exacerbate the disgust with your face licking. If you must have physical contact, a simple flirty game of footsie can suffice.

2. Get out of our way — Seeing you from far away is bad enough, but when you’re blocking a doorway or walkway, we’re gonna get pissed/reminded we’re alone.

3. Don’t straddle — When you see a girl on a guy’s lap, it’s just the worst. Look, PDA can be cute in many cases. But when you split your legs and go full straddle? That turns the toleration level way down. Your boyfriend isn’t a horse, even if he’s hung like one. This kind of action is reserved specifically for the couches of Paradigm.

4. Not all PDA is bad — A quick goodbye kiss, a friendly hug and even handholding can all be really sweet if done in the right way. But nothing more. Most people will still judge or envy you for touching in public, but these forms aren’t the worst things in the world. If BTV can broadcast the weather, you have the right to give your significant other a peck.

5. Don’t verbalize it — As much as we hate seeing couples getting physical, we loathe hearing about it even more. Any kind of dirty or mushy talk in public is a definite no. Seeing how content you are with your partner is bad enough; don’t make us hear it too.

6. Keep it dry — Leave your tongue out of the equation when it comes to kissing. This isn’t “The Notebook;” we’re not all vying to see romantic gestures on our way to class.

7. Hands off the merchandise — I know it’s so hard to resist your significant other while on the bus to Target, but if you can bear it, keep your hands to yourself. It’s more than uncomfortable to see any ass grabbing, thigh rubbing or any finger maneuvers out in the open. Please, get a room.

8. Limit yourself — Like Nite Owl food, too much PDA can make you sick. A little bit is expected, but if done too often, you’ll start to get a reputation and be known as “that couple.” No one likes “that couple.”

Overall, PDA sucks no matter what. But the less you suck your significant other’s face off, the less we’ll all hate you. So be kind, and cut back on the public loving. You don’t need to remind us of our own collective single existence. Remember, this is college, you have a room to call your own. Use it. For all of us.