As the year comes to a close, our thoughts have turned from drinking and partying to finals and packing. However, many of our friends abroad have already finished up the semester and are returning back to the States after being in cute, little European towns, completely secluded from our Western culture. So, for those who are just returning, it’s time for a pop culture year in review. All the highlights from news that isn’t remotely relevant but is great filler and zero calories.

BAD GIRLS

First, let’s start with the girls we’d see ralphing in The Rat if they weren’t rich and famous. It was an eventful year for Lindsay Lohan and not because of her movie roles. The past few years have been turbulent for the young starlet. Here’s a little Lohan by the numbers: 2007 brought three trips to rehab, two arrests and one bag of mystery coke for La Lohan. But she’s out now and back to work. You’ll see her on the season finale of “Ugly Betty.”

Next up is the train wreck that is Amy Winehouse. Her sophomore album, “Back to Black” won Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards, however her drug addiction and turbulent lifestyle can be credited for making her headline news. She has admitted to having problems with self-harm, depression and eating disorders. In December, the paparazzi caught Winehouse wandering outside her house, wearing only jeans and a bra.

“She looks like a man trapped in a transvestite’s body who learned how to do her makeup from a drunken drag queen.” said Adrienne Maturo, a freshman molecular psychobiology major.

Last but not least, Britney Spears takes the cake as the worst shit show of the year. Her new album, “Blackout,” was released after her disatrious performance of her first single, “Gimme More” at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards. In September 2007, the court mandated that she undergo random drug and alcohol tests. She also lost custody of her children, Sean Preston and Jayden James to her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.

Police were summoned to her home early January after she refused to relinquish custody of her children to Federline. She was hospitalized after authorities thought her to be under the influence of an unknown substance. However, blood tests were negative. She was put on psychiatric hold later that month.

“She is a misguided soul … someone who was induced into the temptations of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Because she chose this path, she will never be able to be the same American sweetheart we once thought her to be,” said Ariel Delman, a freshman English and psychology major.

As of late she seems to be getting her act together, being photographed leaving recording studios and having a successful guest spot on CBS’ “How I Met Your Mother.”

CELEBRITY BABY BOOM

The past year wasn’t just good for drunks and drug addicts. A lot of Hollywood “leggo’d their eggos.”

Christina Aguilera, Nicole Richie, Jennifer Lopez, Salma Hayek and Halle Berry all gave birth. Jessica Alba, Jamie Lynn Spears and Angelina Jolie are all currently pregnant.

RIFF-RAFF

Radiohead made headlines when they decided to give away their latest album, “In Rainbows,” leaving the purchaser to decide the price. Inspired by Radiohead’s model, Oasis, Jamiroquai and Coldplay took similar approaches. In other music news, the Spice Girls came back for a reunion tour that was widely well-received. Madonna’s highly anticipated album, “Hard Candy” came out April 25.

Somehow, Miley Cyrus, the star of Disney’s “Hannah Montana” took over America. Recent Cyrus news finds the teen under fire for some risqu√É.√© photos of her circulating the Internet as well as a shot where she appears to be topless on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Finally, there were some prominent Hollywood deaths this year including but not limited to Charlton Heston, “Planet of the Apes;” Roy Schneider, “Jaws;” Brad Renfro, “The Jacket” and most notably Heath Ledger, “Brokeback Mountain.”

Now that you’re all caught up on this mindless drivel, you are now one step closter to being re-acclimated to the superficial life of Western culture.