This column feels a little premature if I’m being honest. I’m graduating from college a year and a half early because — even though I would love to — I cannot financially afford to stay here longer. So I’m not exactly a senior, yet here I am, masquerading as one.

No part of me is ready to be an adult. I want that extra time to procrastinate work in the library, go out with my friends when we should be studying and freak out over the cute guy we saw at Tom’s. I feel nauseous when I think about the fact that I’ll be starting a 9-5 job in a month, because I desperately want to be a college student just a little bit longer. Despite all that I’m scared of, I am beyond grateful I got to spend the few college years I had at Binghamton University.

My two and a half years here have been a constant hustle. Tutoring every morning, night shifts at Cracker Barrel, taking 24 credits a semester, all while playing and being the social chair for the club lacrosse team. From all this chaos, Pipe Dream was my space away — the time I allotted to take back for myself and reflect.

Writing is my peace, it allows me to collect my thoughts and reminds me that there is a way to enjoy my work, that it’s not all just mindless, endless, busy assignments that professors diminish to a letter grade — and it was the Pipe Dream Opinions section that allowed me to cultivate my voice into something I felt proud to publish.

I started at Pipe Dream as an Intern for the Sports section in the first semester of my freshman year. I was a sports writer in high school and thought it was best to stay where I was comfortable. It was an honor to work with the editors, Johnny and Jacob. I learned so much from both of you and you will always hold a special place in my heart. The long hours spent, whether it was in the office on Sundays or on the sidelines of games, will forever be time that I will cherish. You both made me feel welcomed in a room where I knew no one and sparked my love for this club.

But when it came down to it, the job was to report on athletes, not give your take on them. And while there is fun in that, I felt myself losing my voice in a sea of stats and scoreboards. The work started to feel like work again, and my passion was dwindling.

At the start of my sophomore year, I joined Opinions, and I could instantly feel my enthusiasm for writing come back. The freedom Opinions gave me in my writing was liberating. Julie, Jordan and Antonia, while our relationship wasn’t more than coworkers, I hope you know the genuine love I have for you all. I’m busy 25/8, I lose track of time, I crash out and you have been nothing but kind and understanding.

When I was supposed to write an article on relationships but couldn’t stomach it because I found out I’d been cheated on the week it was due, Julie gave me an open ear and all the positive energy I needed to pull myself together, plus an extra week to write the article. For every article I turned in late because I got called into work or was traveling for a game and got an extension, thank you, Jordan and Antonia. You didn’t know how tough times would be, yet you replied to me with nothing but smiles.

And on top of it all, you have helped me refine my voice, elevating my work to a level I didn’t know it could reach. Writing became my way of speaking into the silence, of translating the messy, unformed feelings inside me into something I could understand and share. Taking the things we feel but don’t know how to say and putting them into words. This obsession with excavation defines me as a writer, and you all helped me realize that.

You are all so brilliantly talented, and I never knew what a blessing it would be to be a part of your team. I’ll always be sad that my schedule didn’t permit me to be involved in Pipe Dream more socially, but I hope every member that I’ve interacted with knows I’ll always remember you. That quiet smile and wave when I pass you on campus makes my hardest days feel so much lighter. While I may never see you on the spine or in the office ever again, I’ll keep reading your articles, liking your stories and silently staying in touch online, and I truly hope we cross paths again.

Thank you, Pipe Dream, for being the silent impact that molded me into the writer I am today. I can only pray that the people I go on to work with in my professional career are as amazing as all of you.

Suhiliah Lall is a senior majoring in cinema.

Views expressed in the opinions pages represent the opinions of the columnists. The only piece that represents the view of the Pipe Dream Editorial Board is the staff editorial.