As Cupid’s arrows are out and about this Valentine’s season, everyone knows the most classic gift to give and receive is candy. Stores line their shelves with all sorts of sweet treats decked out in red and pink with hearts and messages of love. But different types of candy can relay different meanings, so make sure you know exactly what your valentine is saying to you.
So your valentine hands you a lollipop. This person might have something on his or her mind. Oral sex. This individual probably wants to see you suck, lick and devour this lollipop in the hopes that this action will continue in the bedroom. If you’re game for this, play along, teasing him or her with each delicious lick.
A lollipop may be the perfect gift for a casual hookup, since they’re on the cheaper side, but it may not be the best idea to hand out a lollipop if you’re in a serious relationship. You can get a bag of Dum Dums for a buck at any discount store.
2. The fancy stuff
Valentine’s Day brings out the typical heart-shaped boxes filled with varieties of chocolates. Whether it’s Russell Stover, Godiva or Lindor truffles — though you pay $2 to $3 more for during the holiday just because they slapped some hearts on the bag — these candies show your valentine truly cares.
“They’re the perfect combination of chocolate and filling,” said Geoff Hetherington, a senior majoring in computer science. “The Swiss know what they’re doing.”
It takes some effort and a bit of extra cash to make this purchase. After all, you have to find the right assortment of candy to match your love’s taste.
Target has Lindor truffles on sale, $9.99 for three bags. If you want the bag with hearts, it’s $5.99 a bag. A pack of 12 Godiva dark chocolate heart-shaped biscuits costs $33.14 on Walmart’s website. Or you can go to Walmart to get a box of Russell Stover chocolates for $7.96.
3. Conversation hearts
Those sweet, colorful, message-filled, chalky treats. Of course, they bring back memories of elementary school.
Receiving this treat can mean one of two things. Either your valentine has not yet grown up and realized there are other candies out there or they want to remind you of your childhood.
If it’s the first, maybe you need to head over to a candy store and show your valentine the other options.
“After fifth grade, conversation hearts are just not cute,” said Serina Hasanji, a junior majoring in political science.
Though a conversation heart can hearken back to the days of your youth, they often indicate a lack of thought. Many times these packages are bought in bulk and are a generic gift. If your valentine is generously giving away these little pink boxes, then there probably wasn’t much thought.
A box of candy hearts costs just 50 cents at Target.
4. Customized candy
If your valentine customized your candy, then he or she is a keeper. Ordering custom M&M’s with your faces on them costs around $18 for the simplest package. If they add some messages or a fluffy bear to the bundle, it can cost upwards of $49.99. Someone put a little effort into that gift.
If you want to customize on a local, cheaper scale, Wegmans has an extensive assorted candy section. Just pick and choose what you want and wrap it up nicely.
5. The normal stuff
Did you really just get a Kit Kat? Not a good sign. Getting a generic candy bar shows that they realized it was Valentine’s Day that morning.
If he or she has a car, then maybe a trip to the store was involved. If your valentine doesn’t have a car, he or she probably made a pit stop at the dining hall before heading to your room. And that sucks.