Fall is a magical time of year. It’s the time when you try to convince yourself that you’re going to actually do all those adorable fall activities you’ve planned on. But let’s be real — you won’t. These are the activities you’ve told yourself you’re going to do this fall, and what you’ll actually end up doing instead.
The Plan: Going to the local orchard to pick apples
You and your closest friends bundle up in your light jackets and scarves and head up to Apple Hills. It’s an adorable, quirky afternoon filled with autumn spirit. You take candid photos, admire nature and wander rows of trees, just thinking about a simpler time when colonial families picked apples to survive. Then, you and your friends return to campus and bake apple pie!
Reality: Going to Wegmans
Why tire yourself out picking apples from trees when you can pick them at Wegmans? Sure it’s not the same as exploring nature and smelling the fresh Vestal air, but you had to walk all the way to the bus stop and get on the bus. If that’s not enough fresh air, what is?
The Plan: Walking in the Nature Preserve
You finally finish studying for your midterms and you decide to reward yourself by becoming one with nature. You admire all those picturesque views that belong on postcards and skip rocks along the lake. Just look at those leaves turn. It’s an introspective, peaceful experience. You think to yourself, this is what the world was like before humans ruined it.
Reality: Looking at pictures of the Nature Preserve on Facebook
Why hike all the way to the Nature Preserve when you can experience it from the comfort of your twin xl bed? You decide to live vicariously through your friends and look at the photos they took when they actually made the trip. They even Instagramed the photos tastefully. Valencia: great filter. And honestly, your room is the only place where you can eat Easy Mac and 10 packages of fruit gummy snacks with no judgment. Why enjoy the scenery of the Nature Preserve when you can see the Dickinson Community construction from your window?
The Plan: Sitting in a local coffee shop and studying
You “Yelp” Binghamton coffee shops and find this adorable little place Downtown. As you walk in, you’re overwhelmed by the aroma of local blends and the allure of contemporary decor. You sip your medium fair trade roast as you read a novel, looking out the window at the falling leaves. You begin to wonder why more people don’t appreciate life.
Reality: Going to Jazzman’s
Jazzman’s has a local cafe atmosphere with on-campus convenience! Einstein’s is too busy anyway. And blackberry lemonade? What is that? The blackberry-to-lemonade ratio is completely off. It’s all blackberry. Also, if you go into Einstein’s, you’re just going to complain about how their order-taking system doesn’t work and how you miss the Union Food Court. So, you’re left with Jazzman’s. Sure, it’s still Sodexo, and yeah, the barista gives you the wrong order, but what are you going to do? Say something? Probably not. You’ve already flaked on all your other fall plans. You suck.