It’s the first week of classes, we’re all getting back to Binghamton and we’re all looking to have a good time. Let’s be honest, a lot of students here aren’t devoted to academics during syllabus week.
This is probably the biggest week for going out and hooking up that we will see all semester.
It’s right after break, and while some people may have more luck having sex back home, a lot of people who are sexually active have also been going through a dry spell.
I come from a small town where everyone knows each other and trust me, once you graduate high school, if you haven’t done it with a certain person before you head off to college, chances are it’s because you don’t want to.
Some other people just really flourish when they come back to school. Maybe there’s something about living under Mom and Pop’s roof that turns you off.
People who have been going through dry spells probably want to try to get their game back on. I have some words of self-acclaimed wisdom that I’d like to impart to those sexually active masses.
Put down the products
Ladies, a majority of guys don’t want to have sex with a raccoon, so put down the mascara. Guys, Pauly D’s status with the ladies is higher because he’s on television; your hair shouldn’t be put through that kind of torture.
Desperation attracts desperation
If you really don’t care with whom you get it on, this doesn’t matter, but if you have standards, assume that the person you want to hook up with has standards too.
Know what you’re getting
If it’s someone you’ve wanted for a while, you could chance it and try to get it in after a party, but watch it, you could be losing out on a lot more, including a connection with them that you might have had. You also might not enjoy the sex, but if you’re just hooking up, that’s a chance you take as well.
Don’t be afraid to work it
Have some confidence. You see someone you like, introduce yourself, flirt a little, grind a lot. If you don’t aim for what you want, you won’t get it.
Chivalry isn’t dead
Guys, most girls want to get treated like they matter. If you’re screaming to your bros all the time, if they’re sober enough, they’ll get turned off. Just bring her a drink and try to pay attention.
STOP GETTING PLASTERED
I can’t stress it enough. A majority of girls aren’t attracted to slurring, stumbling guys. If there’s a chance you’re going to puke on her, don’t go for it. Even if a guy pays attention to a girl, chances are he doesn’t want to be her caretaker. There’s only so much a guy can suffer through before sloppy sex isn’t worth it anymore.
I like to think these are five things that are easy enough to remember. If you’re looking to score, you don’t even have to do them all; just one or two could probably help you get your game back.
If you’re unfamiliar with anything I mentioned, try to memorize it quick. You only have so long before your teachers finally decide to give you actual work, even if the syllabus is the most explained sheet of paper they’ll give you all semester.